


Home at Last

by Januarium, RhetoricalQuestions



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Study, Digital Art, Discussion of Abortion, F/F, Fanart, Found Family, Friendship, Let Alexis Rose Eat, POV Stevie Budd, Past Abortion, Queer Themes, Queer awakening, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Texting, Theatre, Women Being Awesome, artwork, background David/Patrick - Freeform, past Emir/Stevie, references to a shitty childhood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:54:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 26,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26425222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Januarium/pseuds/Januarium, https://archiveofourown.org/users/RhetoricalQuestions/pseuds/RhetoricalQuestions
Summary: The much bigger surprise, however, came from Mrs Rose. A kindness of a sort so very specific to a woman for whom, Stevie knew, performance was a life’s calling. She offered Stevie an opportunity to take up space. To be someone else. To take all her pain of rejection and, instead of burying it, use it to make something.When Stevie Budd took on the role of Sally Bowles she could never have known how much she would gain from it.From the prompt: An alternate universe where Ted does not choose Alexis at the end of Season Four and Stevie and Alexis get close during Cabaret rehearsals
Relationships: Stevie Budd & Ronnie Lee, Stevie Budd & The Rose Family, Stevie Budd/Alexis Rose
Comments: 56
Kudos: 108
Collections: Elevate! A Schitt's Creek Femslash Exchange, Sexy Cabaret Feelings, Up for Anything – a Schitt's Creek WLW porn collection





	1. What I long to be

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DoubleL27](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoubleL27/gifts).



> Such a huge thanks to DoubleL27 for such brilliant prompts—I tried to add elements from as many of them as I could. Writing this was an amazing experience for me and I so hope you enjoy it. I didn't know Cabaret the show before this and have truly fallen in love with it over the course of writing this, so thank you for that as well.
> 
> Huge huge thanks to singsongsung and lokifan, they made this immeasurably better. 
> 
> Thanks so much to RhetoricalQuestions who made all the graphics for this fic! I love them graphics so much, thanks to the artist for working with me and making such beautiful things for this story!

_You must never ask me questions. If I want to tell you things, I will._  
—Sally Bowles, _Cabaret_

Stevie wasn’t used to having a family. Well, that wasn’t true—Stevie was _very_ familiar with having a shitty family. What was new was having one that cared about her. If you’d told her, when the Roses first moved into the motel, that they would show her what it’s like to be loved and supported she’d have asked who your dealer was… and yet.

The drive home from the Hospies had been less awkward than expected, considering she’d had to ruin Mr Rose’s big moment with her stupid break up and stupid feelings. He’d spent the drive back to Schitt’s Creek rambling about things that they should consider doing for the motel—like how best to use the push from their award—and complaining some more about having had the actual physical award taken away from them. He didn’t expect her to speak and he didn’t let her get too deep into her head, which was exactly what she’d needed.

That had been kind of him. Considering just how many break ups she knew his children had been through, perhaps she should have expected that, but she was also very aware how unused to looking after their children the Rose parents were.

The much bigger surprise, however, came from Mrs Rose. A kindness of a sort so very specific to a woman for whom, Stevie knew, performance was a life’s calling. She offered Stevie an opportunity to take up space. To be someone else. To take all her pain of rejection and, instead of burying it, use it to make something.

Accepting the offer was easy, because she hadn’t fully realised she was doing it. She’d been too surprised and confused to really think it through.

Then came the terror. Stevie woke up in a cold sweat from a nightmare in which she tried to go on stage, but it kept getting further away from her. Everyone was so mad that she was ruining this, why didn’t she just get on with it? Except when she finally got up there it was even worse, her cousins were there in the audience, heckling and jeering, and Mrs Rose was telling her off for not being good enough to shut them up.

There was a part of Stevie kind of glad to be distracted from her break up. If she was shit-her-pants terrified of appearing in this play, it was hard to focus on feeling like an idiot for putting herself out there the way she had with Emir. She had _really_ liked him and it hadn’t even occurred to her that he wouldn’t want to take things further. God, it wasn’t like she’d asked to fucking marry him, she just thought they could actually spend some time together.

Stevie stormed out of bed and into a shower, her head full of a mixture of fear, embarrassment, and righteous anger. She found herself singing the chorus to Pink’s ‘So What’ and it helped, it gave her a focus, until she remembered Mrs Rose asking her if she could sing. She’d agreed to sing in front of so many people—what the hell was she thinking?

Stevie was determined she would drop out, except somehow she didn’t manage to get hold of Mrs Rose the next day. She may be a coward, but she wasn’t so much of one that she was going to make someone else pass the message on for her.

It wasn’t odd to see Jocelyn Schitt, with her bizarre new hairstyle, coming to visit the motel, but it was strange she wasn’t there to see Roland.

“Stevie, thank goodness you’re here!”

“Uh, yeah, I usually am,” Stevie replied. 

Jocelyn had an especially harried air about her. “Ha! Right, of course, sorry I’ve just finally managed to nail down our rehearsal schedule and I’ve been making sure to get it to everyone.”

“Rehearsal schedule?” Oh fuck, this was getting way too close to real. “Actually—”

“We’re so glad you decided to come on board,” Jocelyn said, something steely behind her stressed grin. “I thought we weren’t going to find anyone to play Sally and then, well, we’d have to cancel the whole show, wouldn’t we?” She laughed a bit too hard.

“I’m sure you could’ve found someone,” Stevie insisted. There had to be a way out of this.

“Nope!” Jocelyn replied. “Trust me, we looked!”

“Oh.” She thought of Patrick’s proud little grin when he told her he’d landed the role of the Emcee, of Twyla excitedly talking about researching nineteen-thirties make up, of Roland showing off that his wife was getting to be _Moira Rose’s_ co-director (which, of course, he only did when Mr Rose wasn’t around, lest he see how Roland still sometimes got star-struck by his wife). “Right.”

Jocelyn dropped the piece of paper and headed off. “Thanks again, Stevie; I’m off to find Bob!”

This was such a huge mistake, but Stevie didn’t want to let people down. She looked at the schedule, with rehearsals marked by who was required to attend. She was marked as essential for nearly all of them and… fuck, the first one—Extremely essential for Sally and all Kit Kat club girls!!!—was Saturday, when she was supposed to be playing on Ronnie’s stupid baseball team.

***

Stevie rang the bell at Ronnie’s house the next afternoon still not sure how she was going to approach this.

Ronnie opened the door with a sardonic look. “If Brewer sent you here to convince me he’s actually a nice guy, you can leave it.”

Stevie didn’t try to hide her amusement. Patrick had ranted extensively at her about the whole incident between them in the cafe, after which David had added that _he’d_ thought it was a bad plan. “You think I’d let myself be his pawn?”

Ronnie looked her up and down. “Alright, alright, come in and tell me whatever it is you want.”

Stevie wanted to protest that she didn’t need to want anything to come visit, but… she did kind of want something. It had been a while since she’d been in Ronnie’s house, but there was still something so comforting and familiar about it. Ronnie led her through to the kitchen and Stevie sat down at the same solid dining table where she’d spent a lot of time in her teens, when she was a total mess and Ronnie was the only person who gave her any space to talk about it.

Ronnie made them some coffee and Stevie let herself be comforted by the easy silence. There was a set of French doors looking out onto Ronnie’s garden and Stevie realised that something had changed. “You re-did the decking.”

Ronnie looked over, like she needed to check. “Yeah, did that a year or so back, after some damn opossums made a mess of what was there. It’d been about twenty years, anyway, needed refreshing.”

Stevie did her best not to wince at the idea it had been so long since she’d complained her way through helping Ronnie with the decking, in exchange for Ronnie giving her somewhere to stay when she got sick of her mom’s boyfriend-of-the-month and Maureen wasn’t around. “It looks good.”

Ronnie gave her a look that said _Of course it does, I made it,_ and poured a generous slug of whiskey into each of their mugs, before bringing them over to the table. Stevie couldn’t help but notice that Ronnie was using one of the ridiculous mugs Stevie had given her over the years, this one proclaiming her ‘World’s Coolest Uncle’.

Stevie knew good coffee, even if she was happy to drink the swill they kept in the motel, and Ronnie _always_ made good coffee. She let the mug warm her hands while she figured out how to start. “I got cast in Cabaret,” she said.

“I know,” Ronnie replied. 

It wasn’t a surprise. Even if they didn’t live in a town the size of a postage stamp, Ronnie would know everything.

“It seems really stupid, I don’t know what Mrs Rose was even thinking choosing me. I hate being the centre of attention!” Stevie didn’t want to ramble, because Ronnie was never kind enough to interrupt her and shut her up when this happened. “I have no experience with learning lines, or singing and dancing, and I’ll probably end up just ruining the whole thing for everybody.”

Ronnie looked at her and took a sip of coffee, waiting her out, but Stevie didn’t know what else to add.

“What’s this got to do with me?” Ronnie eventually asked.

Stevie hid her smile behind her mug. This is why she liked Ronnie so much, she got straight to the point. “My first rehearsal is on Saturday.”

Ronnie gave her a look, “Mmhm.”

“So, I’d have to miss the championship game.”

Ronnie frowned and took a swig from her mug. “If I hadn’t had Jocelyn Schitt herself explain to me this was the only way to make the schedule work, I’d be convinced Brewer set it up himself—got his mother-in-law to take you out to ruin the game. But I already told Jocelyn it was okay—not like you do much anyway.”

There was something kind of delightful about Ronnie calling Mrs Rose Patrick’s ‘mother-in-law’, but no way was she going to acknowledge that feeling. “Hey, I totally caught the ball in the game before last!”

Ronnie shook her head, but there was laughter dancing in her eyes. “Listen, Jocelyn is terrifying enough as it is, I wasn’t going to be the one to tell her to reschedule.”

“But it’s stupid for me to be doing this anyway. I’ll let Mrs Rose know I have to honour my commitment to the team, and can’t be in the show.”

“Oh no, little girl, you are not using me as an excuse to get out of this.”

Stevie took a sip of coffee and wished it had more whiskey. “It’s not an excuse,” she said. 

Ronnie’s look made it clear she saw right through Stevie. “Why did you agree in the first place, then?”

Stevie thought back to being in her apartment, drinking wine and feeling shitty, only to have Moira Rose sweep in like a fairy godmother. “It seemed like a chance to try something different.” She felt childish, saying it like that, but Ronnie nodded like she understood.

“You should do it.”

Ronnie had never been one to give advice lightly. Stevie felt something settle, except the idea of being on a stage in front of people was still terrifying. “But there’s the game on Saturday. If I miss my first rehearsal I’ll look like a diva.”

Ronnie huffed and sat back, crossing her arms. “Since when did you give a shit about this baseball team, anyway?”

Stevie winced. She wasn’t exactly the most enthusiastic player and she couldn’t pretend to be, but… “You need nine people to play.”

Ronnie shook her head. “Why don’t you let me worry about my own problems and you worry about yours. Go to the rehearsal.”

Stevie finished her drink and nodded. Fuck, was she seriously trying this? “Why do you care so much about the show?”

Ronnie rolled her eyes. “If you’d actually looked past the details of the first rehearsal you’d know I’m in it, too.”

“Oh.” Stevie admittedly hadn’t really looked in too much detail, but she couldn’t believe she’d missed that. 

“That’s right and I have two solos _and_ two duets, so you’d better not mess this up for me.”

It should have been the sort of pressure that made Stevie collapse in on herself, but it was Ronnie, so instead it made her feel like maybe she was capable of this. Ronnie never told her to do something unless she believed she could.

***

The first rehearsal was… well. At first, listening to Alexis talk about all her experience, and seeing how clearly she felt like _she_ should be the lead, made Stevie feel even more out of place and nervous. Alexis did tell her she’d have her back, though, which helped... Until then Stevie saw all the other Kit Kat girls, and that didn’t help at all. It felt ridiculous for Stevie to have this role when all these gorgeous women, who actually knew how to speak in public, were a part of it, too.

She’d spent the previous night getting high with David and attempting to forget everything going on in her life. He hadn’t made her talk about the break up, or the show. Instead, they’d hate-watched _Keeping Up with the Kardashians_ , and if it ever got too quiet David would ramble on about his life, so she didn’t need to think about hers. He’d left spaces for her, in case she needed them, but never pushed. Being in this room with all these people she wished so desperately to be back there.

Stevie hated the way she locked up when Mrs Rose turned the attention towards her. She felt like an idiot and worse, like she was letting everyone down. Stevie hated letting people down—that was why so much of her life had been carefully constructed so she had as few opportunities to do so as possible. But here she was, star of the show, and she couldn’t even keep track of which exercise she was supposed to be doing. 

When Moira finally let her take a break she watched as Alexis went over to talk to her. Stevie was sure they were talking about her, imagined they were discussing how _unfortunate_ it was to have cast such a dud. Alexis would probably try and couch it as a kindness, ‘Poor Stevie, she just wasn’t made for this’, but then she’d just said she didn’t even want the role herself any more, so who knew? 

Once they were done, Alexis walked past and gave her shoulder a squeeze, which was both comforting and nerve-wracking. Stevie didn’t want anyone coming to her rescue. Mrs Rose looked at her thoughtfully and Stevie buried her head in her hands so she didn’t need to try and read Moira’s expression.

Stevie was watching everyone fail to get Bob’s totally obvious ‘man with amnesia’ act-out when Mrs Rose came over and sat next to her. She expected that to be it, to be dismissed from the show, but somehow it felt like Mrs Rose actually got it. She wasn’t telling Stevie that she wasn’t good enough; instead she came closer to an apology than Stevie had thought she was capable of.

Mrs Rose said that they were in this together, and that was the moment where Stevie truly committed to being Sally Bowles.

When Mrs Rose called the rehearsal to a close Stevie wanted to get out of there and be alone as soon as possible, but Alexis stopped her. 

“Great job, girl!” Alexis said, poking her with a finger.

Stevie laughed and it came out shaky. “I don’t know that we could go that far; it was a mess.”

Alexis flapped her hand dismissively. “I thought the same after my first Pussycat Dolls rehearsal, but Nicole assured me I was _great_ , and you were, too!”

Stevie ducked her face; it was silly how flustered she felt. She should’ve made a snarky comment about how Alexis can’t have done that well, if she only made it two weeks in the group, but she didn’t want to be harsh. Alexis had really had her back today.

“We should get together and run lines!” Alexis sounded genuinely excited about the idea, which was bizarre. Stevie liked Alexis fine, but they didn’t exactly spend time together without some other member of the Rose family being involved.

“Um, are you sure? It’s just, I know you don’t have that many lines—” And fuck, Stevie shouldn’t have bothered trying to be nice, because she’d end up saying something like that anyway. “I mean, you don’t need to do that for me.”

Surprisingly, Alexis looked amused, rather than upset. She rolled her eyes and did a little shimmy, an action that Stevie was more used to seeing from David. “I want to help you, silly! It’ll be fun, we can, like, drink wine and eat greasy food.”

Stevie was certainly not above greasy food, but the whole thing sounded like the sort of ‘girls’ night’ that Stevie had never been included in, nor wanted to be. “I guess?” 

“Perfect, I’ll text you the deets!” Alexis topped this off by letting out a excited squeal and waving her hands in the air by her head.

***

To Stevie’s surprise, Alexis did actually text her the next day, despite probably only being a few rooms away from the motel office where Stevie was working on paperwork. There’d been a lot less paperwork back when the motel rarely had guests. The previous message in Stevie and Alexis’ text chain was a congratulations on the award, with over a month-long gap before that. 

**iMessage:** Alexis  
  
**Alexis:** Okay!! David’s at Patrick’s tonight so you can come here for a girls night slash line running sesh! 🎭🍷👯  
  


Stevie struggled with the idea that she was going to be voluntarily spending time with someone who would use the word “sesh” in a text. She also spent far more of her life than she wanted to think about in the motel as it was. Much as she wasn’t super fond of having other people in her space, it wasn’t too hard to reply:

**Stevie:** Why don’t you come to my place so I can learn them without worrying about the director overhearing  
  
**Alexis:** OMG STEVIE!!! That’s so smart  
  
**Stevie:** I’ll order a pizza?  
  
**Alexis:** 🍕🍕🍕Super cute! Lots of veggies, no onions  
  


Stevie tried to remember the last time she’d hung out with Alexis one-on-one and she was pretty sure it was never. Or, not on purpose for longer than a few minutes. She couldn’t decide if she should suggest inviting other people to cut through the potential awkwardness, or if that would be even worse. Twyla would be working and Patrick was busy with David, and there wasn’t anyone else in the play Stevie thought would actually make this a _less_ awkward situation, so she decided to leave it as is. Knowing her, if Alexis thought it would be weird just the two of them, she’d just invite someone else herself.

Stevie put on the cast album Mrs Rose had given everyone, informing them it was the _only_ correct version for them to listen to. Her hope was, if she listened to it enough it would seep into her brain, without her ever having to open her mouth and actually try singing it. Stevie knew she needed to get to grips with the story better—she wasn’t even sure which of these songs she would be singing. She’d been putting off even _looking_ at the script to avoid finding out what she was in for.

She had seen the film once in university, but didn’t remember too much, just Liza Minelli in that bowler hat, and Nazis, and the way Maybe This Time still made her ache. _That_ song she knew was Sally’s—was hers. It was a lot of why she hadn’t said no immediately. She’d also gotten drunk and screamed along with the Me First and the Gimme Gimmes cover of Cabaret more times than she could count, but that felt less relevant.

She was caught up enough, in both her thoughts and trying to work, that the album was on the third song before she realised that Mrs Rose was singing every role. 

***

There was a moment where Stevie considered putting on some lip gloss, at which point she realised how much she was blowing this out of proportion. It was just… Alexis was so feminine, in a way that Stevie had always felt both fascinated by and uncomfortable with. Stevie could glam up a bit sometimes, was willing to put on a pretty dress and full make-up if needed, but it always felt kind of off. Like she was pretending.

There’d been mean girls in high school, but Stevie had mostly managed to stay under their radar; it wasn’t like Alexis triggered some deep seated trauma in her. It felt more like the time she got paired with Peggy Tremblay for a science project in high school. She’d assumed, because Peggy was gorgeous and popular, she’d saddle Stevie with all the work, which was honestly preferable to trying to actively collaborate with someone who didn’t care.

Instead, Peggy had been determined they’d split the load equally and they turned out to work shockingly well together. Not even just that, but they actually really got on, enough that Peggy said hi to Stevie when she passed her in the hall after they were done and it completely freaked her out. People paid attention to Peggy, and if they were friends people would pay attention to _Stevie_. Her entire existence was built on a carefully balanced foundation of not being the centre of attention in any given situation.

It had taken a couple of weeks of intensely ignoring her, but eventually Peggy got the message and stopped saying hi, and Stevie could breathe again.

The thought of spending time with just Alexis was like that, like people were going to start looking at Stevie and thinking—‘Who does she think she is?’—on the other hand, Stevie had really accepted this role now, which meant she was going to be the centre of attention either way, so she needed to accept all the help she could get.

Alexis arrived—by herself—only half an hour later than she’d said she would, mostly because David had dropped her off on his way to Patrick’s. She greeted Stevie with air-kisses, as if that was something they’d ever done. 

“This place is so very you, Stevie, I can’t believe I’ve never been here before!”

Stevie looked around her apartment, wondering what exactly Alexis was seeing that made her say that. Stevie loved this place, but she knew it was small and crowded and nothing she owned quite matched anything else. “Thanks, I guess I should be having more dinner parties.” It was supposed to be a joke, but Alexis’ eyes lit up and she clasped her hands together.

“Oh my god, that would be _extremely_ cute. This place would be perfect for fondue!”

Stevie decided not to try and figure out whether that was an insult about how old all her stuff was. “That actually sounds kind of nice. Dipping stuff in melted cheese might actually be within my cooking abilities.”

Alexis laughed out loud at that. “It is definitely more than I can manage, but I did bring wine?” She dug into the large bag hanging on her arm and held up a bottle that was definitely stolen from Rose Apothecary. 

Stevie couldn’t help but think of Mrs Rose just last week, bribing her to be in the show with a bottle of wine and then taking it back home with her. “Is that to share?”

Alexis rolled her eyes and flapped her hand. “Of course, Stevie; I asked David which one you like!”

“Oh,” Stevie said, taking a moment to adjust to the unexpected level of consideration. “In that case, I’ll get us some glasses.”

The pizza arrived just as Stevie finished pouring, and they headed over to her dining table. She was glad she had this table now, bought after the third time David complained about having nowhere acceptable to eat when they hung out here. 

“So how well do you know the show so far?” Alexis asked, before carefully nibbling a slice of pizza.

Stevie panicked and took a huge bite of pizza so she could delay answering, which just made her feel more awkward when Alexis ate so delicately. When she finally swallowed she said, “I saw the film once when I was in university?”

Alexis furrowed her brow. “Oh, and what about the stage version?”

“Never got around to seeing it.” Stevie gulped some wine, to hide from how out of her depth she felt.

Alexis looked thoughtful. “Okay, so you need to get to know it more, we can do that. Have you read the script?”

Stevie was really hoping to pretend she’d at least skimmed it, but she doesn’t want to lie to such a direct question. “Not yet.”

Alexis shook her head, but she looked sympathetic. “You’re lucky you have me, or Mom would eat you alive at the next rehearsal.”

“She was actually weirdly nice to me at the end of the last one.”

Something crossed Alexis’ face when she heard that, but she turned it into an overly-bright smile before Stevie could figure out what it was. “Well that’s really great! But we still need to get to work.” She looked down and then with a smaller, slightly-shy smile she added, “We can finish the pizza first.”

***

They ate a few more slices of pizza and talked about what details they’d heard of the baseball game and Stevie relaxed a lot. It was just Alexis, who she had known for years and had spent plenty of time with. This wasn’t high school, and Stevie was a grown woman, however much she felt like she was faking it.

Once they were done eating, Alexis went over to her bag and retrieved her laptop. “Can you keep a secret?” she asked, eyes deadly serious.

“Um, yes?” Stevie was actually pretty great at keeping secrets, but something about the way Alexis was asking made her nervous.

Alexis squinted her eyes slightly, as if she was trying to see right into Stevie’s soul to judge if she could be trusted, then nodded. “Okay, excellent, so I kind of thought you might not have seen the show properly before—so I thought we could watch it.” She wiggled the laptop to demonstrate how they’d watch.

“That’s actually a great idea, but why the secrecy?”

“Well, we’re going to watch a bootleg and my mother absolutely _cannot_ know that I would have such a thing. She once walked off stage and smashed someone’s phone because they tried to take a photo during her solo in the Lestat musical.” Alexis said this in the same matter-of-face tone that she told all her ridiculous family stories in, before she went and sat on Stevie’s bed.

It made sense: that would probably be the most comfortable way for them to watch something on such a small screen together, but Stevie still had a strange moment of panic. “So, we’re going to watch one of the stage productions?” Thinking about that was preferable to whatever was swirling in her as she watched Alexis carefully settle herself on the bed and tap the space beside her. “How did you get it?”

Alexis fiddled with her computer with an oddly cautious expression on her face. “Come see.”

Stevie toed off her shoes and went to sit cross-legged on the bed. Alexis was showing her an app with a row of pictures of Mrs Rose from over the years, each with a title under them. “What’s this?”

“I, um, actually have bootlegs for lots of Mom’s shows? It used to be harder to find them, we had to get them on _VHS_ , if you can believe that. It was something David started when we were younger.” Alexis said this looking at the screen, but her eyes darted to Stevie at the end. “Ugh, but do _not_ tell David I still have all of these, it’s kind of embarrassing.”

Stevie nodded carefully. She could easily imagine a younger Alexis and David secretly hoarding a trove of videos of their mother performing. “Don’t worry, I won’t say anything.” 

Alexis’ smile in response was small and genuine in a way Stevie rarely saw from her. It made her want to share something in return. 

“My mom was away a lot when I was a kid. I had this photo album of her that I looked through all the time.” Stevie was kind of shocked to have said it, but it felt weirdly good. Like maybe now she and Alexis were actual friends in their own right now. “Anyway, we forgot to bring the wine over,” she added, because they were getting way too close to sentiment for Stevie to sit with it for long.

She got up and brought the bottle and their glasses over and by the time she was settled back next to Alexis the laptop screen showed a stage with a man in a trench coat and dramatically pale make-up on it.

“So I don’t actually have a bootleg from nineteen seventy-nine, but Mom was in Cabaret in Coxsackie, New York, in ninety-nine. She likes to pretend it didn’t happen because it was one step up from community theatre, but it’s one of my favourites.” Alexis said quietly and before immediately pressing play.

Twenty minutes in, Stevie had found herself getting into the story when the Emcee started an introduction and Alexis bounced slightly. She knew what was coming. “Oh god, she’s British?” Stevie said, when the Emcee announced that Sally had come from England.

“The accents in this show are supposed to be weird,” Alexis replied. Stevie considered the bizarre accent of the Emcee and thought maybe she was right.

When Mrs Rose walked onto the stage it was strangely exciting. Stevie, of all people, was going to be doing what she had done. Moira’s accent was unsurprisingly strange, but Alexis was right, it did work for this show and that was somewhat reassuring.

The show was a lot more provocative than her vague memories of the film and she and Alexis laughed a lot at the idea of Patrick performing a role so unapologetically sexual. It was also funnier than Stevie remembered, especially watching with Alexis. They were still laughing about the idea of the older couple, that Ronnie and Bob would be playing, singing a romantic song about a pineapple together, when the mood shifted.

Sally told Cliff that she was pregnant and she planned to terminate it; Cliff tried to talk her into keeping it. The conversation was incredibly similar to one Stevie had had when she was younger, with a guy who insisted he’d get a job and be around if they had a kid without ever asking if that was what she wanted. She didn’t regret her choices, but watching the scene made her feel exposed. 

Stevie hadn’t realised how close she and Alexis had gotten. They were sitting right next to each other with their arms touching and she didn’t know whether she wanted to get away. Then the music cue for Maybe This Time started and Alexis reached out and gripped her hand, her eyes not leaving the screen, and Stevie gripped back and didn’t think about it, just watched.

When it got to the part where the woman Ronnie would be playing told her love interest that she wouldn’t be able to marry him because he was Jewish, and she couldn’t risk the damage to her business, Stevie noticed a tear rolling down Alexis’ cheek. She didn’t really think much about the Rose parents’ mixed-faith marriage, but connecting this scene to them made it hurt all the more. Stevie gave Alexis' hand, still in hers, a squeeze and shifted a little closer.

By the time the show came to a close, with Sally informing Cliff that she’d gone to the doctor after all, and she wasn’t going to run away from the rising tide of fascism with him, Stevie and Alexis were practically tangled together. They stayed that way, in silence, for a long time, before Alexis said she should probably go.

When Stevie walked her over the door Alexis gave her a soft smile and pulled her into a hug. “You’re going to be an amazing Sally, I just know it,” she whispered into Stevie’s neck.

Alexis was gone before Stevie could come up with a reply.

***

The next rehearsal was just the lead roles, meaning Bob was the only person other than Stevie for whom it wasn’t their first rehearsal. Stevie took a seat next to Patrick and ignored the look she got from Ronnie, who had sat as far from him as possible.

“So, have you actually seen Cabaret?” she had to ask him.

Patrick nodded. “Yeah, seen the film and I’ve been to a couple of regional productions of it.” There was a serious energy about him and he kept tapping his foot, which made Stevie think he was nervous. It was reassuring.

“And were they…” She tried to think how to phrase it. “More like the film or more like the modern version?”

Patrick gave her a look. “Are you asking if I’m aware of the costume I’m likely to be put in? Because yes, that has been made very clear.”

Stevie smirked. “Hey, I’ll probably be in some pretty skimpy things myself—nice for a show to be equal-opportunity about it.”

Patrick inclined his head thoughtfully. “Well that’s certainly one way to look at it.”

Stevie noticed someone sit next to her and turned to see it was Adam Cox. Adam was younger than her by enough years that they hadn’t known each other in high school, but not by so many that they hadn’t been going to the same parties for years. She nodded at him and was going to turn back to continue the conversation, but of course Patrick was the sort of person to actually talk to people he didn’t know.

“Hey, I’m Patrick, don’t think we’ve met before. I’m playing the Emcee,” he said, sticking his hand out for a handshake in front of Stevie.

“Great to meet you dude, I’m Adam! I’ll be Cliff.” 

That made sense. Stevie hadn’t really thought too much about who would be playing her love interest, but it could be worse. Adam seemed a nice enough guy and at least they’d never slept together. She knew she should say something, but everything felt awkward.

“Stevie here will be our Sally Bowles,” Patrick said and he probably thought he was helping. 

“Yeah, sorry I’m going to mess up your life.” Stevie tried to smile to make it clear it was a joke, but Adam just looked confused. “I mean, in the play? Sally kind of screws with Cliff’s plans.”

Adam laughed genuinely enough for Stevie to stop herself from leaving immediately in a fit of awkwardness. “I think he makes his life messy enough all on his own; she brings a lot to it.”

Patrick looked almost as surprised as Stevie felt at that answer. “We were just talking about how well we know the show—it seems like you do?”

Adam nodded. “Yeah, me and my ex saw the touring production when it was in Toronto last year and I’ve always liked the film.”

Stevie would never have guessed he was a musicals guy, but then she didn’t know too much about him. “So that means you’ve seen what this guy will be up to?” she said with a smirk, pointing her thumb at Patrick.

Patrick shook his head. “Listen; I auditioned for Cliff, but Mrs Rose insisted I be the Emcee.”

Stevie made a whip noise with her mouth and Adam quirked an eyebrow.

“I’m dating Mrs Rose’s son, but that is _not_ why I accepted the role,” Patrick explained. “I’m pretty sure _Stevie_ is the one who wanted to say no to her and didn’t.”

Stevie gasped at him turning it around on her, but then the woman herself appeared and they began. They did some of the same exercises as the first rehearsal, but this time Stevie found herself almost keeping up. She was familiar with the concepts now, at least, and it was slightly easier to not be in a room full of pretty girls who had probably auditioned for the role she’d been given without asking for it. Plus, Patrick and Ronnie kept getting paired up in the team building exercises and it was hilarious.

During a one-word-story where Ronnie was clearly trolling Patrick, who was trying to keep it positive, Adam quietly asked Stevie, “What is with those two?”

Stevie tried to hide her amusement because Jocelyn looked stressed out, as it kept getting worse, and whispered back, “Patrick tried to tell Ronnie how to do her job.”

Adam hissed through his teeth. “Yikes, is the guy an idiot or something?”

A snort of laughter escaped Stevie and Patrick gave her a desperate look over Ronnie’s shoulder. “He’s one of those people who’s so busy being smart he doesn’t stop to think he might be acting stupid.”

Mrs Rose clapped to get people’s attention. “Well, I think it rather fortuitous that Veronica and Patrick will scarcely need to be in sync during the show. Let us take a five minute break, after which we might look at an actual scene.”

Patrick pulled Stevie aside as everyone split up for their break. “Don’t tell David I mentioned this, but he actually has a bootleg of a time Mrs Rose was in this show before. He was being all squirrelly about admitting he actually cares enough to keep hold of stuff like that.”

Stevie laughed, but decided she would hold back Alexis’ side of that secret. “I’ll let you know if I need it.”

***

A few more rehearsals went by with different groups of people and Stevie was slowly getting more comfortable, but it was still so intense. After one rehearsal where Mrs Rose told Stevie off for being so reliant on reading the script, Alexis informed her that she and Twyla would be visiting Stevie for a line-running session on Twyla’s next evening off. Stevie couldn’t even feel annoyed that Alexis was just inviting herself over, because she was desperately glad for the help.

They arrived together; Twyla brought mozzarella sticks, because of course she did, and they sat around Stevie’s table with their scripts, trying to decide where to start. They went through the scene where Fräulein Schneider finds out Sally is living with Cliff and tries to kick her out. It was kind of ridiculous, with Twyla doing an impression of Ronnie, and Alexis acting Adam’s part, but it helped Stevie a lot to be saying the words out loud, with other people, but without the pressure of rehearsals.

When they got to the end of the scene, Alexis shimmied a little. “So you and _Adam_ are going to have to get pretty close,” she said, following it up with an attempt at a wink that Stevie found she couldn’t be annoyed by.

“Okay, none of that! I just had my last disaster of a ‘relationship’ finish, no way I’m going there with him.” She hadn’t even thought about it, honestly. The show was a good distraction from the way things ended with Emir, but it still stung. “He does seem like a nice guy, though. Maybe one of you could ask him out?”

Alexis gave Stevie a scrutinising look, but shook her head. Before Stevie could ask what that was about, Twyla spoke, “I actually dated him in high school, but then I accidentally made out with his brother—I didn't realize they looked _so_ similar.”

Stevie blinked. She hadn’t thought about the fact that Twyla was closer to Adam’s age; they hadn’t hung out that much back then, so sometimes Twyla still managed to surprise her with her stories, even after all this time.

“Oh my god, I had the same thing happen, except it was Daniel Radcliffe and his stunt double.” Alexis replied, with an excited waggle of her hand. 

Stevie held her script up to hide her amusement. While both women had their share of disturbing stories, usually they were very different flavours of messed up. Twyla lit up at what Alexis said and Stevie figured she should stop before they got stuck in a loop of sharing. “Why don’t we look at that scene again?”

They worked through that scene, along with a few others, before Twyla announced that she’d forgotten she needed to sing to her cacti that night, and she had to leave. Alexis insisted she wanted to stay on, so they worked on a couple of the early Sally-and-Cliff scenes.

It was somehow a lot more intense, just the two of them, even though the scenes were relatively light-hearted. Alexis was surprisingly good at playing Cliff—though he was a man who clearly valued having an interesting life and traveling the world, so it made a sort of sense. There was a playful energy between Sally and Cliff that came so freely with Alexis. It made letting go of the crutch of the script a little easier.

They were taking a break, when Stevie couldn’t help but ask the question that wouldn’t leave her mind. “Why aren’t you interested in Adam?” He was handsome in that clean-cut way that Alexis seemed to like, and she’d been single for quite a while.

Alexis glanced down and twisted the hem of her skirt around her fingers. Stevie couldn’t help but notice how smooth the skin of her thigh was, eyes drawn by the motion. “He’s not what I’m interested in right now.” 

Stevie blinked herself out of how she’d gotten hypnotised by Alexis’ fidgeting and looked up to see Alexis looking at her like there was something she wanted Stevie to understand in what she’d said. The wine must have been stronger than she thought because it took her a while to realise what Alexis probably meant. “I’m sorry things didn’t work out for you and Ted.” She’d been on the outskirts of that one, but had heard enough about it from David to know the story.

Alexis frowned slightly; she looked frustrated. “It’s okay, I’m not pining for _Ted_.”

Stevie wasn’t sure what to take from that slight emphasis on Ted’s name. Was she suggesting it was ridiculous she’d do so, when Stevie knew she had for months, or did she mean she was pining for someone else?

Alexis continued before Stevie could think of something to say. “And I’m sorry about you and that motel reviewer guy. He doesn’t know what he’s missing.” It should have sounded trite, but Alexis said it not just like she believed it, but like it was _true_.

Stevie could feel her shoulders wanted to hunch in in response and tried to resist it. Sally Bowles didn’t make herself smaller just because she got dumped. “Well, he certainly didn’t seem interested in finding out, so I guess it doesn’t matter either way.”

***

A few days later, Stevie had agreed to help David at a flea market happening in the town hall, while Alexis stayed at the store to collect a package. David and Alexis were bickering about Tamagotchis, which she might find funny if she weren’t lugging boxes back and forth without any help.

“Okay, David, as much as I love carrying out all these boxes by myself, I think she's going to be okay. So, maybe you could give me a hand?”

Alexis looked thoughtful and said, “You know, David, if you don’t trust me with this, you could leave Stevie here with me and we could wait for the package together?”

Stevie didn’t know where that came from, but she couldn’t ask before David exploded. “What? That doesn’t make any sense, Alexis! I need Stevie to help me today and you said you could do this.”

Alexis looked strangely chastised. “Ugh, David, it was obviously just a joke. I’ll get your stupid package, don’t worry about it!”

Stevie wanted to ask what that was about, but of course now that David was helping with the boxes he’d decided they had to get a move on with it. When the last box was loaded, Alexis pointedly said, “Bye, Stevie!” and ignored David, who just rolled his eyes and stomped to Stevie’s car.

He was still grumpy about it by the time they pulled up to the town hall and Stevie poked his tense shoulder. “Who pissed in your cornflakes this morning?”

“First of all? Eww. Second of all, I don’t eat cornflakes, they taste way too bad for the amount of sugar in them.”

Stevie rolled her eyes, even though she knew he wouldn’t see. “Fine, why are you being such a whiny brat?”

“I am not being a whiny brat!” David’s hands flexed on the steering wheel like he wanted to gesture violently. “I’m just thinking about how best to market the store at this flea market!”

“Mmmhm,” Stevie replied, her skepticism loud and clear. “Whatever you say.”

Stevie brought in a few boxes and started setting up while David got the rest. She looked at her phone to check the time and to her surprise, she had actually received a couple of messages from Alexis in the five minutes since they left the store.

**iMessage:** Alexis  
  
**Alexis:** Do you think David would notice if I just happened to try out a few products while I’m stuck here?  
  
**Alexis:** Don’t tell him I said that! 🤫  
  


Stevie tried to resist the smile that her mouth wanted to form. They’d been spending more time together, with Alexis even hanging out in the office at the motel a couple of times since they’d run lines with Twyla. Stevie had always thought of Alexis as someone she wouldn’t have become friends with in other circumstances, but now she thought maybe she was wrong.

**Stevie:** I think he probably took photos of the location of every item in the store and will know if you even touch them tbh  
  
**Alexis:** Ugh, yes he does that all the time. It’s like he doesn’t even trust me!  
  
**Stevie:** How did you find out he did that, if you weren’t using his stuff?  
  
**Alexis:** Okay fine, but it’s not my fault he managed to get Dior Prestige La Cure before it sold out and I didn’t  
  
**Stevie:** I have no idea what that is but I’m sure it’s very important  
  
**Alexis:** It’s so unfair for someone as clueless about skin care as you are to have such flawless skin  
  
**Stevie:** David has said the exact same thing to me, I still can’t tell if it’s an insult or a compliment  
  
**Alexis:** When I say it, it’s definitely a compliment 💖  
  


“Who’re you texting?” David asked, as he brought in a load of boxes and Stevie nearly jumped out of her skin. She’d been so focussed on her phone she forgot where she was.

Her cheeks felt warm, which was weird. Maybe there was actually something wrong with her ‘perfect skin’. Stevie locked her phone and put it face down on the table in front of her. She bit back a strange instinct to deny she was texting anyone and said, “Oh, just Alexis.”

“Hmph.” David was still definitely cranky. 

“I was just telling her which cheeses are the best so she can make sure to try them all while we’re gone.”

David pursed his mouth and breathed out harshly. “I know you are probably joking, but please could you remind Alexis that she promised me that she would _not_ be eating any of our stock today.”

“No way am I playing go-between. If she promised something, that’s between the two of you.”

David humphed. “Fine.” 

Stevie got to work setting up the products he’d brought in and before too long he was back with more.

“So, you and Alexis have been spending a lot of time together, hmm?” He was using the voice he only used when he wanted to sound casual. It never succeeded.

“Yes?” Stevie replied. She felt weirdly like she had when she’d been keeping her on-going relationship with Jake a secret and David kept grilling her. “Is that not allowed?”

“It’s fine!” David said, too forcefully. “I just hadn’t realised it was a thing.”

Stevie thought back to two days before, when David had come to the lobby just as she and Alexis were having a laughing fit at Alexis’ increasingly ridiculous German accent when they ran lines. David had looked suspicious, but Alexis left them to talk and things seemed normal when David had asked her to come today. “She’s been helping me a lot with Cabaret.”

“I could help you with Cabaret.”

“I figured you had enough of that with Patrick, honestly.”

“Patrick hasn’t asked me for any help.” He sounded frustrated. “But even if he wanted it, I could help both of you.”

Stevie was confused. One of the things she appreciated about David was his unwillingness to discuss feelings, but that could get annoying when there was clearly something going on and he tried to talk around it endlessly. “If you want to? I kind of need all the help I can get.”

“Okay, then,” David said, as if things were cleared up.

Stevie’s phone vibrated loudly.

"If that's Alexis again can you remind her that you are _actually_ supposed to be helping _me_ right now."

The realisation hit Stevie and was out of her mouth before she could stop it. “David, are you _jealous_?” 

“Excuse me?” David’s voice was high, verging on squeaky. “What am I supposed to be jealous of here?” He gestured so violently he nearly knocked one of the bottles off the table.

If he’d sounded even slightly more convincing, Stevie might have dropped the issue, but as it was she was getting annoyed. “I don’t know, but you’re acting like the asshole I dated in college who didn’t like it when I hung out with other guys.”

David deflated slightly. “Ew, I really do not want to sound like that guy. Yikes.”

Stevie shook her head. “It’s not like I’m trying to date your sister.” She hated how her voice broke slightly when she said that. “Although, I’m also not even dating _you_ , so I don’t know how this metaphor is supposed to work.”

David let out a disgusted noise, “Honestly, I’ve had enough of my exes try to date Alexis. I at least know how to deal with that.”

“Which is how, exactly?”

“Drink a lot, then ignore it until it runs its course. And shut the conversation down if it sounds like Alexis wants to compare their technique.”

Stevie couldn’t help but laugh; she could see that all too clearly. “So what is it that you don’t know how to deal with?”

She could practically hear David grinding his teeth before he said, “You know I haven’t had a best friend before.”

Stevie thought it was an impressive sign of her growth that she didn’t say ‘ew’, her instinctual response to this show of sentiment, out loud. “Not like I have, either.”

She could see the same ‘ew’ echo in David’s head and felt a wave of fondness, before he said, “I can’t believe you’re making me talk about this. It’s just that people don’t usually _like_ me.”

“Who could blame them?” Stevie couldn’t help but add, because she shouldn’t be allowed in a grown up conversation. 

David huffed and stuck his middle finger up at her, but there was a smile tucked in the corner of his mouth. “Quite. But people do like Alexis.”

Stevie could see a lifetime of people being charmed by Alexis’ upbeat optimism and put off by David’s spiky attitude and… she got it. “Me being friends with Alexis doesn’t mean you aren’t my best friend.”

David wriggled his shoulders definitively. “Okay, then.”

“Okay.” Stevie’s phone buzzed again.

“Ugh, just answer her, she’s probably already bored out of her mind,” David said as he went to get the last load of boxes from the car, but he sounded a lot lighter, and that was when Stevie spotted Wendy and Antonio.

**Stevie:** Holy shit there’s a guy here who looks just like David  
  
**Alexis:** What??? I NEED you to send a picture 😱🤯⁉️  
  
**Stevie:** I can’t just take a picture of some stranger  
  
**Alexis:** UGH!!! You can’t tell me there’s a David doppelgänger and then not show me what he looks like! 😡  
  
**Stevie:** Ugh I’ll see what I can do  
  
**Stevie:** IMG_2174.jpg[](https://64.media.tumblr.com/9ad15a60a472d751b7b37197fe1d8cc6/b1b81ce25059cde5-23/s1280x1920/b9da5d232547b801a3fe8636744208467bea6d04.jpg)  
  
**Alexis:** OMG HE LOOKS JUST LIKE DAVID  
  
**Alexis:** 🤣☄️😹  
  
**Stevie:** Right???  
  
**Stevie:** David’s so pissed, it’s hilarious  
  
**Alexis:** I can’t fucking believe I’m missing this WHERE IS THE DELIVERY GUY 😤  
  


***

The next few weeks were a whirlwind of rehearsals ramping up, as they started to learn Mrs Rose’s ridiculously complicated choreography, alongside Stevie helping David organise Patrick’s surprise birthday party. The latter mostly involved listening to David’s rants when he couldn’t make the plans fit his exact specifications, so that he didn’t give in and spill everything to Patrick before the big day.

Alexis continued to hang around the motel office, sometimes helping Stevie run lines, but more and more often she’d just bring her laptop, and work in the seating area while Stevie worked at the desk. It was unexpectedly nice, as someone who’d always enjoyed her own company, to share space with someone that way. Alexis had tried to talk her into practicing the choreography with her there, but Stevie was not yet desperate enough to risk a motel visitor seeing her.

David seemed less bothered by Stevie and Alexis’ friendship since the flea market. Stevie privately suspected part of that was just that they’d spent more time together, with arranging Patrick’s birthday party, but it was nice to have someone who cared about her that way. Not that she’d say that out loud, of course. 

He did seem annoyed that Alexis being around so much made it harder to keep the party a secret from her, but that mostly meant Stevie got to watch them bicker when David was trying to get Alexis out of the way, and that was one of Stevie’s favourite forms of entertainment.

A couple of days before the party, Mrs Rose asked Stevie to come in for a solo rehearsal. Stevie spent the time before it trying to figure out what exactly she’d done wrong. She was struggling with the choreography, definitely, but so was Patrick, and surely if she’d found out about them hiring a private dance coach she’d confront him as well? 

When Stevie arrived at the town hall, Mrs Rose greeted her warmly, with no indication she was annoyed at her. “Aha, there’s my ingenue!” She said, gripping Stevie’s shoulders. “I am pleased as punch you were able to spare me this time for a private rehearsal.”

Stevie shrugged. “Not a problem, Mrs Rose.”

Moira smiled at her and then gestured to the seats. “Why don’t you pull up a pew, my dear, so we can discuss why I invited you here.”

Stevie sat down and tried not to hunch in on herself. It was easier than it used to be.

Mrs Rose took the other seat, set at an angle to Stevie’s. “I invited you here because I was thinking of what _I_ might have wanted, when I was embarking upon my journey with this role. Which is not to say Rocky Nicholls was anything other than a phenomenal director, you understand, but I feel that perhaps I have some insight to purvey that he did not.”

Stevie nodded, very uncertain where this was going. “You’ve been an amazing director, Mrs Rose.” It was more true than she could have anticipated; impossible choreography aside, Mrs Rose had an amazing ability to get the best out of the cast.

Moira smiled softly, in a way that Stevie had rarely seen from her. “That is very kind of you, Stevie. I was pondering if you might like to discuss your final scene, as we shall begin refining it next week.”

While they’d done a read-through of the whole script, there were certain scenes they hadn’t given any real focus to up to this point. One of those was Sally’s final scene, in which she returned to Cliff to tell him she’d terminated her pregnancy. “Oh,” was all Stevie could think to reply with.

“Rocky, bless him, was very much more focused on _telling_ me how Sally felt at that point, but I thought I might ask what _your_ take on it is.”

Stevie nodded. It was not something she had come into this prepared for, but she was glad Mrs Rose had given her the chance for them to do this one-on-one, rather than in front of more people.

“Take your time,” Moira said, which was so far from her usual attitude.

Stevie pulled up her script and opened it to the right page, as much for something to do with her hands as anything. “She’s sad that she’s losing Cliff, heart-broken, but she knew that she could never be satisfied forcing her life into his happy family ideal.”

Mrs Rose nodded, but she didn’t try to touch Stevie, which is what she might have expected from someone else. Moira understood that physical comfort was not needed here.

“She’s also just—really angry and upset that the doctor was so awful, that he took her fur coat and didn’t treat her well, that he was her only option.”

They were silent for a while before Moira spoke, “I should think even if he had tried to talk to me about my own feelings on the matter I would not have admitted that her experience was familiar to me. I was raised Catholic and while plenty of us did it, one would never _confess_ to such a thing.” There was a little twinkle in her eye as she emphasised the word ‘confess’.

It was touching, for Mrs Rose to trust Stevie this way; she doubted that this was something David or Alexis knew. Stevie didn’t really have shame about her abortion, but she also didn’t tend to talk to anyone about personal things, so it had been a long time since it had come up. If she’d had to guess who she would talk about this with, it would not have been Moira Rose. “I appreciate Sally, even though she couldn’t have known what staying in Berlin really meant. She liked the idea of having that idyllic family life in abstract, but she never wanted it for herself. Cliff never understood that some people don’t want that.” Stevie didn’t like the idea of trying to find a euphemism, so she just said it. “I didn’t want that when I had my abortion and I don’t want it now.”

Moira smiled in a wistful way. “I don’t regret the bébés I brought into this would, but they weren’t what I anticipated from life. Although, I have come to realise that perhaps I was not as involved a parent as I had believed myself to be.” She laughed, lightly, which made Stevie feel like she could smile at the idea as well.

This wasn’t a conversation she would share with David or Alexis, but she liked imagining their reaction to the idea that their mother had thought herself involved.

“Shall we read through the scene?” Mrs Rose had said those words over many rehearsals, but this was the first time Stevie felt like it was actually a question.

“Absolutely,” Stevie replied, before lowering her script. She knew this one.

***

Stevie had been trying to focus on actual work for far too long on the day before Patrick’s party and was incredibly glad for the distraction when Alexis swept in. Strangely, she looked a little nervous when she got to the counter, but it passed quickly enough that Stevie figured she was imagining it.

“Hey, Stevie! I’ve been really enjoying hanging out with you more recently,” Alexis said, reaching across the counter to give Stevie’s nose a boop.

It sent a strange jolt through Stevie, probably because she’d never been on the list of people to get one of those before. “Yeah, it’s been nice,” she said. It wasn’t even slightly a lie, which was weird. It was rare Stevie did anything that could be described as ‘nice’, let alone enjoyed it.

“I was wondering if you’d like to go out for a meal?” Alexis was curling her hair around a finger and something about it was almost hypnotising to Stevie, before she blinked herself out of it.

“Yeah, that would be great,” she said, checking the time. “It’s my lunch break in like five minutes, so we could go to the cafe?”

A few expressions Stevie couldn’t read passed over Alexis’ face, but it settled on a smile before she said, “Oh! Yeah, that sounds great.”

Stevie wondered where else Alexis thought they’d be going for lunch, but dismissed the thought. She should make sure she got the paperwork to a place where she wouldn’t get confused when she came back to it. “I just need to finish this off, and then I can go?”

Alexis nodded, and took her usual position these days, on the sofa looking at her phone, while Stevie checked she’d made all the notes she needed. Mr Rose came in exactly on time to cover while Stevie took her break, as always.

Stevie and Alexis chatted about the show as they made their walk to the cafe, and it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, but Stevie somehow felt very aware of every time her arm brushed against Alexis’ as they walked.

Alexis held the door open for Stevie, which made Stevie roll her eyes, but also sent a strange flutter through her as she headed for a seat at the bar. She’d just sat down when she saw Alexis’ frown.

“What’s up?”

Alexis blinked and flapped her hands. “Oh, I just thought we’d sit at a table, it’s fine.”

Stevie hadn’t really thought about it, had just assumed Alexis would want to catch up with Twyla while they were there—luckily, Twyla herself was serving a customer and so didn’t need to see this awkwardness. “We can move if you want?” Stevie offered, but Alexis shook her head and sat on the stool next to her.

Twyla seemed excited when she did come over to greet them, catching up on the goings-on in town as she got their drinks. After a story about Gwen’s new pet Komodo dragon Twyla continued, the brightness in her voice sounding slightly forced as she looked at Alexis, “And have you guys heard Ted’s news?”

Stevie tried really hard not to openly stare at Alexis to see her reaction, but she couldn’t help but look.

Alexis’ eyebrows rose and she fiddled with her drink as she said, “Oh, wow, no, what’s that?”

Twyla looked between the two of them nervously. “He’s actually going to be moving away, something to do with studying turtles in the Galapagos?”

Stevie was surprised, and Alexis looked even more shocked, but not as upset as Stevie would have expected. “That’s amazing, Twy, wow.”

“Yeah, good for him,” Stevie added, just to say something, because the atmosphere was kind of weird.

Twyla had some other customers to serve, so once she moved away, Stevie asked, “Are you really okay about Ted?” Stevie herself had complicated feelings hearing he was leaving to travel the world. She’d never been close to him, but had known him her whole life. Whenever another person made it out of Schitt’s Creek, while Stevie stayed behind, she felt it deep in her gut. This time it didn't hurt as much as it used to.

Alexis smiled softly and played with her rings for a moment before answering. “Yeah, I really am, actually. He, like, really cares about animals, and if he can go somewhere and save those cute little tortoises, then I’m happy for him.”

Stevie nodded. She remembered so clearly how much time David had spent complaining about Alexis and how she was hung up on Ted; apparently in the time since things had changed. “And you aren’t sad you didn’t get back together?“

Alexis shook her head firmly. “No, I feel like I’m where I’m supposed to be right now.“

Stevie was surprised by her own reaction to that; she felt a sharp relief that Alexis had moved on. Obviously she was just glad that her friend wasn’t stuck pining after someone she wasn’t with. “Well, that’s great to hear.”

“What about Emir?” Alexis didn’t meet Stevie’s eyes as she said this, focusing on playing with the straw in her drink.

Stevie hadn’t expected the question, but maybe she should have. What was more of a surprise, however, was realising that she hadn’t thought of Emir more than in passing in weeks. Between everything she had going in her life now, that hole she’d been feeling in her life when they broke up wasn’t even there anymore, without her noticing.

She’d cared about Emir, and more than that she’d _liked_ him, which wasn’t all that common in Stevie’s life. It was a pleasant surprise that now she could look back on their relationship with some fondness. There was still pain in thinking of the ending, but that was a lot more about the specific way it had happened, rather than the fact of it in itself.

“I’d say I’m right where I’m supposed to be right now, too.”

Alexis’ smile at that was small, but her eyes blazed with a sort of satisfaction that Stevie couldn’t look away from.

***

It should never have been a surprise that something would go wrong with Patrick’s party, but Stevie had really thought that David had covered all the bases for this one. The idea that Patrick—whose middle name should be PDA—wasn’t out to his parents had really blind-sided them. It meant that Stevie had even more to deal with, as she had to watch the store and make sure no other plans went wrong while David attempted to deal with the situation.

Luckily, things worked out so much better than they could have done. There was a moment, standing with all the Roses while they watched Patrick talk to his parents, where Alexis reached out and squeezed Stevie’s hand, and Stevie felt part of a family in a way she’d rarely ever felt in her life. 

The most exciting thing to happen the rest of the party happened when Stevie was hanging out by the counter with Alexis, Patrick, and David. Alexis suddenly squeaked and pointed to the door, where Ray had just turned up and was holding hands with Adam from the play. 

“Who is that guy?” David asked. “I did not approve a plus one for Ray!”

Patrick put a hand on David’s shoulder. “That’s Adam, he’s playing Stevie’s love interest in the play.”

“And I made sure he was on the invite list, David, so you can put your claws away,” Stevie added.

David glared at her, but tried to transition it to a smile as Ray and Adam came over. “So nice to see you both here, only an hour after you were told to arrive!”

Adam looked uncertain, but Ray just grinned hugely. “I am terribly sorry, Patrick! We may have lost track of the time,” he said, with a wink.

Stevie wasn’t sure what to expect from Adam in response, but he just gave Ray a nudge and a fond smile. “Yes, sorry we weren’t on time, but I hope the surprise part went well.” He tilted his head and reached out his free hand to David. “You must be Patrick’s partner, David, right? I’ve heard so much about you—I’m Adam.”

David looked like he wanted to be annoyed, as he shook Adam’s hand, but Stevie could tell he liked that Adam knew who he was—after the reveal with Patrick’s parents it was probably somewhat reassuring. 

“Ugh, are you done with the boring introductions part?” Alexis butted in before David could say anything. “I want to know when this happened!” She gestured wildly between Adam and Ray.

Adam shrugged and put his arm around Ray’s shoulders. “Well, he was helping me a lot with my lines for the play and it just kind of... happened.”

Ray usually looked happy, but this left him looking like he was about to float away on it. “I suppose I _may_ have had some ulterior motives in asking if you were interested in all those line-running sessions.”

“Well isn’t that adorable!” Alexis said, though there was something Stevie couldn’t place in her tone. Maybe she _had_ been interested in Adam, after all? Without thinking about it, Stevie found herself placing a comforting hand on Alexis’ arm, just in case. It was hard not to snatch it away as soon as she realised she’d done it. 

“That’s awesome,” Patrick said, looking so genuinely happy for the new couple that Stevie had to meet David’s eyes so they could share a ‘how is anyone as nice as this guy?’ look. “I’m glad you guys made it, don’t worry about missing the surprise. Actually—” Patrick jumped off the bar stool he’d been on. “Ray, I’d love to introduce you to my parents.”

Ray clapped in response. “Oh my, Marcy and Clint are here? I _have_ to finally meet them in person!”

Patrick pulled Ray over to where his parents were talking to Mr and Mrs Rose. “How does Ray know Patrick’s parents?” Stevie couldn’t help but ask.

David rolled his eyes, “Well, considering how many times it happened to _me_ when Patrick lived with Ray, probably because he has a habit of answering other people’s phones.” He winced and looked at Adam like he’d just realised he was still with them. “Um, no offence.”

Adam shook his head and smiled. “No worries, I’m very aware of Ray’s lack of boundaries. It’s one of the things I like about him.”

Stevie and Alexis made eye contact and they shared a smile at the grimace that sentence caused on David’s face. The man had zero poker face.

***

Later, Stevie and Alexis were the last to leave, other than Twyla, who was packing up, and David and Patrick, who wanted one last dance for the two of them. 

“I’ll walk you back to your place,” Alexis insisted.

Stevie shook her head. “I’m fine, but maybe you should let _me_ walk _you_ back; the motel is way more out of the way.”

Alexis frowned. Stevie had seen this determined look on her face before. “No, Stevie, I want to walk _you_ to your apartment.” Her eyes went soft as she added, “Let me?”

Stevie just nodded. Maybe she had drunk more than she thought, because she suddenly felt almost dizzy and couldn’t figure out words to reply.

Alexis’ face transformed to the most spectacular grin and she somehow managed to hook Stevie’s hand through her elbow without Stevie realising what she was doing, before setting out walking in the direction of Stevie’s apartment.

Stevie wasn’t exactly one for walking arm-in-arm with anyone, friends or boyfriends, but it was... Nice. Alexis was so free with her touch with Stevie, since they’d started rehearsing together for the show, and she still wasn’t used to it. It had been an exhausting day that turned out well, so Stevie didn’t move her hand and just went with it.

Alexis filled her in on the soap opera fan convention she’d gone to with her mother that day, and Stevie told Alexis about her day managing the store, and David, and the party.

“Ugh, Stevie, you should have let me know you had so much to do today, I would have helped!” It was sweet, how Alexis sounded genuinely disappointed to not have been dragged into the organisational mess of the day.

“It all turned out okay, and it sounds like it was a boost that your mom needed, getting to see that she still has fans.”

Alexis smiled and covered Stevie’s hand on her elbow with her other hand. “Well, that and the two thousand dollars she made!”

As exhausted as she was, Stevie found herself disappointed when they approached her building. It felt like a loss to remove her hand from Alexis’ arm so she could dig into her pockets for her keys.

As Stevie was about to open the door, Alexis grabbed her shoulders and turned them so they were facing each other. “So, I actually meant to ask you to dance tonight, but I didn’t, which is, like, very much _not_ my brand, so I just wanted to tell you how much I’ve enjoyed spending more time with you.”

“Oh.” Stevie wasn’t sure what to say, for some reason her heart was pounding and this felt like the end of the sort of date Stevie didn’t usually have, the sort that ended with a kiss, but of course that wasn’t—

Alexis’ lips were soft and gentle and gone all-too-quickly. “Good night, Stevie,” she said, before walking away. Stevie was rooted to the spot watching her, so she caught the one time Alexis peeked back at her, a nervous look on her face that turned to a smile when she saw Stevie watching her, before she faced forward and kept walking.

Stevie carefully didn’t let herself think until she had reached the safety of her apartment. Alexis had kissed her. It hadn’t been an intense passionate kiss, and yet there was no doubt in Stevie’s mind what she’d intended.

Alexis had insisted on walking her home, told her she wished she’d asked her to dance, and then kissed her outside her building. That wasn’t a ‘friend kiss’, any more than it had been when Alexis had kissed Ted back when Rose Apothecary was opening. Remembering David telling her that story made Stevie wince, but it had been a long time ago. Alexis had told her she wasn’t pining over _Ted_ and… could this really be what she meant?

Stevie had kissed women before, but never when sober—and she was sober, much as she wanted to blame her three glasses of wine over four hours for the excitement flowing through her. She’d made out with women when drunk, high, or both, and it felt good, but everything did when she was in that state. 

Obviously she was aware that people can be attracted to multiple genders, but being with men was so easy and the idea of being with a woman was… Maybe there was something for Stevie to consider there, because her reaction to the thought of being with a woman wasn’t disinterest, but the sort of fear she’d felt when deciding to try to really make the motel work, when agreeing to be in Cabaret. Like something that was way too big and important for her to even consider until someone made her do it.

Fucking hell, would the Rose family stop turning her life upside-down for just five minutes so she could catch up?

Stevie took an open bottle of wine out of the fridge and took a few swigs straight from it, before she put it back and collapsed on her bed.

The Rose family. Alexis was a member of the Rose family. Could Stevie even consider liking Alexis this way when she was _David’s sister_? David, who had been stressed out enough by them being good friends. He may have claimed he was used to his exes going after his sister, but Stevie was pretty sure that in this case it would be a shock. Or, not would—might be. Could be?

_Fuck._


	2. Something's bound to begin

Between work, normal rehearsals, and extra-secret dance rehearsals, Stevie might have thought she could go five minutes without reliving the feeling of Alexis’ lips pressed against hers, but apparently not. Alexis was very notably absent over the next couple of days, in a way that made Stevie suddenly aware of how much time she’d been spending anticipating Alexis turning up to hang out in the office, or sending texts about her day.

The ball was in Stevie’s court, but that never went well, so she threw herself into paperwork and trying to figure out how the hell to learn the dances Mrs Rose was expecting from them. This worked for the two days, until the next rehearsal attended by both Stevie and Alexis. Stevie came in as late as she dared, and sat next to Patrick, who raised an eyebrow at her. Usually she worked very hard to be early so she didn’t risk the public humiliation that came with Moira Rose calling you out for being late. Stevie shook her head and did her best not to check if Alexis was looking at her, and Mrs Rose arrived before Patrick could question her further.

This rehearsal was all about choreography and Stevie was almost glad for how difficult it was, because it meant there was no time for any stressful or awkward conversations. Except, it also meant watching Alexis in form-fitting workout clothes and Stevie having the realisation that she had absolutely been cataloguing every drop of her sweat for weeks.

She’d told herself it was because she hadn’t believed that Alexis was capable of sweating like a normal person, and that was why the sight of her panting and wiping her brow was so fascinating. The way Stevie’s body surged at the sight was just a result of the complex dancing, just because she wasn’t used to getting her blood pumping this way. Except if that was the reason, it would’ve been interesting the first, maybe the second time it happened. But it had been weeks and Stevie still found herself almost missing her steps because she caught a glimpse of a drip of sweat moving down Alexis’ collarbone. 

So distracted was Stevie by all these realisations, that it took her most of the rehearsal to realise that Alexis was very much avoiding her. Which was fair, because she’d put herself out there and Stevie had ghosted her. Alexis always appeared so confident that Stevie hadn’t really considered that taking her time before responding might be stressful to Alexis, but there was something in the set of her mouth that looked… ever so slightly hurt.

“Hey, are you alright?” came Patrick’s voice, almost making her jump because she’d forgotten he was sitting next to her.

Stevie attempted a laugh, though it probably wasn’t convincing. “Yeah, just terrified of this choreo, as usual.”

Patrick’s eyes were sharp, but he seemed to buy it. ”You’re really getting there, a few more,” he looked around and lowered his voice in a totally conspicuous way, “ _extra sessions_ and you’ll have this nailed.”

Stevie rolled her eyes and then it was time for them to get back to work. He was right, they were actually improving, even though progress was obviously slower than Moira would like. While they danced, Stevie could feel she was getting closer to being able to trust that her body knew these movements. She still needed to think about each one, but now at least she usually recognised when she was making a mistake.

“Stevie, dear, you still aren’t going low enough for that squat. You must open your hips as though you are birthing the essence of your character’s soul, as Alexis does. Alexis, please help her with that while the rest of us do some more work on our comfort with touch.”

Stevie turned to Alexis with an apologetic smile, only to see her looking at her mother in apparent shock. “Um, Alexis, sorry that you have to help me with this.”

Alexis shook her head. “What? No it’s, like, completely fine.” She still wasn’t looking at Stevie.

Luckily, the rest of the group had moved across the room to do more practice to get them comfortable with Patrick casually grabbing them the way he would need to, so Stevie didn’t need to worry about being overheard. “Alexis…” She had no idea what to say, couldn’t say, _I don’t know how I feel, but I have a theory and it’s terrifying._

Alexis blinked and turned her attention to Stevie and suddenly Stevie thought maybe she’d over-estimated her own importance here, because Alexis seemed distracted. “Did Mom just say I was doing it right?”

Which, actually, Stevie wasn’t sure she’d heard in any of their previous rehearsals, and Alexis certainly wasn’t who Moira usually asked to demonstrate things. Stevie was pretty sure this particular move was one lifted from the ‘A Little Bit Alexis’ dance, but still, it was a sort of praise rarely given. “Yes, she said I need to do it the way you do.”

Alexis shifted her shoulders and suddenly seemed taller. “Oh.”

“Listen, I didn’t mean to not contact you—” Stevie found herself having to say.

Alexis shook her head. “Let’s just focus on this move or Jocelyn’s going to freak.”

Stevie saw that Jocelyn was watching them closely, probably about to come over and make them get started. “Right, okay, can you show me it, then?”

Alexis frowned. “I’ll do it once, but you know what it’s supposed to _look_ like, we just need to make your body learn what it feels like to do it.”

Stevie willed herself not to blush, because Alexis’ tone wasn’t at all suggestive, but then Alexis clearly saw something on her face because her eyes widened and something wicked flashed through them.

Working on the move from there was a special kind of torture, as Alexis first demonstrated the move, dropping her hips low to the ground and spreading her knees, and then walked Stevie through it. 

Stevie really was trying to do it right, but she had a whole new kind of awareness as she tried to copy the motion. Alexis’ gaze was like a physical touch, in a way that was exciting and nerve-wracking.

“You almost have it, you just need to—” and suddenly Alexis was crouched behind her, placing hands on Stevie’s hips and pulling them slightly lower. Her hands were like brands on Stevie’s skin, sending a jolt of arousal through her and, _wow,_ there was no way she could pretend not to feel this. “You need to trust your body.” Alexis’ words were quiet, almost whispered into Stevie’s ear.

Stevie let herself move where Alexis put her and did her best not to whimper when the hands were removed. 

“You’ve got it, Stevie, now just spread your legs.” 

Okay, she might have whimpered at that. Just a tiny bit, so maybe Alexis hadn’t heard. Not being able to see her face was so frustrating; Stevie didn’t know if she knew what she was doing to her. She spread her thighs, still crouched down with her hands balanced on her knees.

“Perfect,” Alexis whispered right into her ear, and she had to know what she was doing, but Mrs Rose interrupted before she could say anything.

“Finally, Stevie, you’ve got it!”

Stevie blinked and felt Alexis put more distance between their bodies. The places she had been so close to touching ached and then Stevie lost her balance and fell on her ass and that ached, too.

Mrs Rose tutted, “Well, maybe just a touch more practice, Stevie, but that was better. I simply hope that you will remember the need to move like an Indonesian scarf, caught in the wind, at our next convocation. That is all for today, my beautiful thespians!”

Alexis helped Stevie up with only a little amusement showing on her face and she wasn’t avoiding her eyes now. “Could we talk tomorrow?”

Stevie was about to agree and then grimaced. “No, I can’t.” She and Patrick had a dance lesson with Derek scheduled and there was no way she’d have time between that and work. She wanted to explain the extra rehearsals, but was well aware that it was not the sort of secret Alexis was likely to be able to keep from her mother.

Alexis frowned, but nodded. “That’s okay—I get it—sorry for making things weird.” 

Stevie had never seen Alexis make herself small like this before and it was awful and had her speaking without thinking. “I just mean, I’m really busy. I _want_ to talk to you.” It was only after saying this Stevie realised that she could have taken the out there. Could have let it drop, but… she didn’t want to. “Listen, I’ll text you, okay?” It was times like these that Stevie really resented that now she actually had to _work_ in her work hours and couldn’t just slack off. She didn’t want this conversation to get interrupted. Stevie did her best to get across how much she meant this on her face, but it wasn’t something she was accustomed to showing.

Alexis smiled, and how had Stevie never realised before how much she loved that smile? “I’m looking forward to it.”

Maybe Stevie was, too.

***

**iMessage:** Alexis  
  
**Stevie:** I want to talk to you but I don’t know if I can do it in person yet  
  
**Stevie:** Could you please just… tell me I’m not reading this wrong?  
  
**Alexis:** Oh wow I was kind of hoping I could get away with not actually saying it  
  
**Alexis:** I really, really like you, Stevie  
  
**Stevie:** I like you, too  
  
**Alexis:** Oh wow you do?  
  
**Alexis:** Wait you know I mean that I like you like I want to date you right?  
  
**Stevie:** I wasn’t sure if I was reading too much into it  
  
**Alexis:** Is that what you meant?  
  
**Stevie:** I think so? But I’m kind of overwhelmed right now  
  
**Stevie:** I need some time to process  
  
**Alexis:** Take the time you need  
  
**Stevie:** This really isn’t a brush off, I promise  
  
**Alexis:** I know 💖  
  


***

Stevie and Patrick were both lying on the ground panting after their session with Derek the next day when Patrick said, “I have something to ask you.”

“Oh?” Stevie very much hoped her voice didn’t give away the large part of herself that had panicked at those words. He wasn’t going to ask if she had a crush on Alexis. Probably.

Patrick rolled onto his side and Stevie begrudgingly followed suit. He looked more uncertain than she was used to from him, in a way she’d only seen that week after his ex showed up, or when he had told his parents about David over the weekend. 

“I swear to god, if there’s another thing you’re keeping from David—“

“No! Well. Not in a bad way.” Patrick looked stricken, which Stevie was alright with. He needed to know that he couldn’t keep doing this.

“Explain.”

Patrick took a deep breath. “I want to ask David to marry me.”

“Holy fuck.” 

He grinned. “Yeah.”

“Holy fuck, Patrick, seriously?”

“Of course, seriously!” Patrick said it like it was obvious and Stevie’s shrivelled heart swelled at the thought that David had someone who loved him as completely as he deserved.

“But you said you had something you wanted to ask me?”

Patrick actually blushed. “I wanted to ask for your blessing.”

Stevie clasped a hand over her face, but she was pretty sure he could still see her shocked grin. “ _What?_ ”

Patrick pushed himself up to sit cross-legged, facing her, and shrugged. “Stevie, you know David better than anyone else, I am in awe at the connection between you two. It didn’t feel right not to do this.”

Stevie laughed, but it sounded wet. She wanted to get up, but the surprise and the exercise had left her feeling like an overcooked noodle, so she flopped onto her back for a minute, first. “You do know you could tell him anything, right?”

“I know.”

Stevie forced herself to sitting so she could face him properly. “No—I mean _anything_ —you could tell him you travelled back in time to be the Zodiac Killer and also invent the first pair of Crocs and he’d still love you, he just needs you to actually _tell him_.”

Patrick rubbed a hand across his face. “Okay, I deserve that, but I promise, I really know that now. Only secret I’m keeping from him is the box of rings I’ve commissioned.” 

“Rings, as in multiple?”

Patrick ducked his head. “It’s a set in gold, they match his silver ones.”

Fuck, with that Stevie lost her battle to keep the tears back and threw herself forward to hug Patrick, sticky grossness from exercise be damned. “You’re such a fucking sap.”

“Is that a yes to the blessing?” 

She could hear the smug grin on his face and wiped her nose on his t-shirt just to tell him off. “It’s a yes. You have my fucking blessing.”

Patrick held her tight, ignoring the way it got her tears and snot all over his t-shirt. “We are so lucky to have you, Stevie Budd.”

***

When Stevie got to work the next day there was a box wrapped in glittery silver paper sitting next to the keyboard on the check out desk. A small envelope was tucked into the white satin ribbon wrapped around it with “Stevie” written in neat letters. Her heart thudded a little as she opened the envelope to find a piece of paper that read:

I saw these and thought of you. Maybe they’ll help with being Sally

A

There was a lipstick kiss mark and it made Stevie’s heart absolutely pound, in a way that had never happened before in a lifetime of standing behind this desk. A part of her was terrified to open the present—it was wrapped so beautifully, the ribbon tied just so, and it seemed far too nice for her. She wanted to lock it in the drawer that she’d been meaning to clean out for a year, where she put things she said she was going to deal with later, but knew she wasn’t.

It was the mention of Sally that made her straighten her spine and tug the end of the ribbon—the velvet was soft against her fingers—so it fell open. She used the letter opener that had sat untouched on the desk for years to carefully slice through the tape holding the paper closed. Stevie had ripped into every present she’d ever received (though she was pretty sure she hadn’t received a present that was actually _wrapped_ for years). This felt so special though, too special to just tear into.

She removed and folded the paper and looked at what was revealed. It was a plain gift box, about a foot long, and narrow. It didn’t reveal any hints about what was inside, so she gave in and removed the lid. There was pale peach tissue paper inside and Stevie rolled her eyes. She felt like Alexis was teasing her at this point. As she lifted the top layer of the tissue a waft of scent hit her nose. She couldn’t help but snap her head up to check Alexis hadn’t suddenly appeared, but no, of course it was that she’d spritzed the paper with her perfume.

In the box, nestled on more tissue paper was... something Stevie couldn’t quite identify. It was a thin black stick—her first thought was that it looked like a magic wand, except that made no sense. There was also a small silver rectangular box. She picked that up first and opened it and suddenly realised what both were. A vintage cigarette holder and case.

She picked up the cigarette holder and it sat so perfectly in her hand. They were beautiful—so perfectly Sally Bowles—and Stevie couldn’t bear to look at them for very long. She carefully repackaged them and set them to the side, to think about after work.

**iMessage:** Alexis  
  
**Stevie:** Thank you, they’re beautiful.  
  
**Alexis:** I did say they made me think of you 💖  
  


The gifts gave her an idea and Stevie spent half the work morning researching monogrammed towels available in Elm County. It was an excellent distraction from thinking about what to do about Alexis. David was going to get married and Stevie was almost disgusted at how happy and excited that thought made her.

Then David came in and Stevie, who had never had trouble keeping a secret in her life, wanted to blurt right out, ‘Patrick is going to propose and also I’m considering dating your sister, or possibly I already have been without realising it.’

Between Patrick’s surprise party, the private dance lessons, the whole Alexis thing, and now this, Stevie had kind of been keeping a lot from some of the people closest to her. It shouldn’t be such an issue, and she mostly didn’t feel bad about it, except she _had_ needled Patrick yesterday about keeping things from David and it made something sit uneasily with her. 

Not the proposal, obviously. David would destroy her if she did something to get in the way of that being whatever fully magical surprise she was sure Patrick was cooking up, but the Alexis thing. The feelings she was coming to terms with. 

Luckily, David just wanted to complain about how much time he was having to spend with his mother, so she didn’t need to talk much. God, who was she turning into, giddy about the prospect of a wedding and wanting to talk to her best friend about her _feelings_. The worst part was, she didn’t even really feel bad about it. She kind of liked who she was turning into.

***

It had been years since Stevie had visited Ronnie twice in just a couple of months, but here she was again. This time, she’d brought a bottle of wine from Rose Apothecary, which she had even paid for. It was one of the last nights where neither of them had a rehearsal before Cabaret opened.

The door opened and Stevie tried to smile as she held out the wine bottle. Ronnie raised an eyebrow and took the bottle. Once she had examined it she rolled her eyes and gestured for Stevie to come in. 

Neither of them spoke until they were sat at the kitchen table with glasses of wine. Stevie hated Ronnie’s unending ability to wait her out.

“Alexis Rose kissed me.”

It was almost worth the torment of having come here to talk about her feelings to see Ronnie truly surprised by something. “Huh,” was all she said, because she never gave Stevie an inch.

“I think I really like her and I’m kind of freaking out about it.” Stevie tried not to gulp her wine too fast, but it was a struggle. Ronnie had helped her work out her relationship woes a number of times over the years, but they never actually _talked_ about them.

Ronnie sat back and her face softened slightly. “Which part is freaking you out here?”

Stevie forced herself to really think about it before she spoke, but it was all a tangle in her head. “I didn’t know that I could like girls—like _women_ —this way, and she’s my best friend slash ex’s sister, and I run a business with her Dad, and… and I really _like_ her.”

Ronnie smiled and Stevie kind of didn’t know what to do with it. It wasn’t even a smile like she was laughing at Stevie—well, okay, it was a little bit that—but mostly she looked genuinely happy. For Stevie. Who had just word-vomited a whole lot of feelings at her.

“Yeah, I can see that,” Ronnie said, before rolling her shoulders and resettling herself like she's squaring up for a pitch and she's last at-bat. “Okay, let’s break this down; you don't need to worry about all these things at the same time."

Stevie nodded and felt something loosen in her chest. This is how Ronnie approached everything; it was something Stevie had always aspired to, but she often couldn’t get there herself. “It just all feels like it’s all kind of one thing?”

Ronnie shook her head. “Just because it’s all connected, doesn’t mean you have to do it all at once. So, you didn’t know you could be into a woman. Now, you know I don’t mean anything by this, but I have to ask. You sure this isn’t a side effect of you not actually being used to being good friends with a woman and getting those feelings all mixed up?”

It was… not a question Stevie would have ever thought to ask herself, but it was kind of fair. From the distance she had now, Stevie suspected that had been the cause for a lot of her feelings for David, back when he was still new to town. She hadn’t been used to close friendship, that you could have such a rush of excitement seeing someone and have it not be about sex.

While it was true, Stevie hadn’t really had a _female_ friend she was so close to before, she did now have the experience of having friends. This whole thing with Alexis, though, since she’d really allowed herself to think about it? It felt different.

“I’m pretty sure that’s not it.” Stevie took a fortifying sip of her wine, which was nearly finished. “I also think maybe I have been into women before?”

Ronnie nodded, like it was okay that Stevie wasn’t sure. “You know, Karen hadn’t ever been with a woman before me?”

“I didn’t actually know that,” Stevie replied. She’d liked Karen, who Ronnie had been with for nearly ten years. Stevie had never gotten to know her well, but they’d seemed to fit together. She’d been upset when she heard through the grapevine they’d broken up last year, but of course she hadn’t said anything to Ronnie. That wasn’t what they did.

“They call it ‘compulsory heterosexuality’ if you want to look it up. You’ll find a lot of people figuring themselves out at all sorts of ages.”

Stevie bit her lip. “I mean, I definitely don’t just like guys because I thought I was supposed to.” This was something she’d thought about extensively since Patrick’s party, because she knew that was his deal.

Ronnie rolled her eyes. “Isn’t that best friend of yours Schitt’s Creek’s poster child of pansexuality?” There was a glint in her eye as she said ‘best friend’ and Stevie knew she’d noticed her calling him that before, and that it wasn’t a term Ronnie had heard from her previously. She wanted to be annoyed by the slight teasing, but really it made her feel more like she was on solid ground before Ronnie continued. “It’s not just about feeling like you should like certain people, it’s also whether you consider if there’s anyone else you might like as well.”

Stevie wrapped her arms around herself and nodded while she thought. She was going to need some time to sit with this; actually talking about it had made it feel real, which was scary but somehow more manageable. Stevie could deal with real things, something with terms she could look up. “Okay, what next?”

Ronnie laughed a little. “Fine, I think next was David and Johnny’s reactions. Do you want to throw Moira in there for good measure?”

Stevie held up her middle finger and Ronnie just grinned at her. She thought of sitting with Mrs Rose at their private rehearsal, and of watching Alexis and her mother learn to work together over the rehearsals. “I’m not really worried about her, actually.” 

Ronnie’s smile softened; Stevie suspected she had a particular soft spot for Moira.

Stevie sighed. “Mr Rose’ll probably try to be _overly_ supportive, if anything. It’ll only get weird with him after we break up.”

Ronnie raised an eyebrow at that, but didn’t say anything. Stevie did her best not to wince at realising that she’d talked about a relationship with Alexis as something that was going to happen, and going to end.

“What about David, then?” Ronnie asked, bluntly. Stevie both hated and loved how Ronnie never let her off the hook for anything.

“He’ll be—I mean, he _would_ be okay about the whole, you know, woman thing, obviously,” Though Stevie suspected if she did this there would eventually be some white wine jokes in her future. Hopefully, because that would mean he was okay with it. “David is incredibly protective of Alexis. He would do _anything_ for her, if she really needed it. But he has also…” Stevie didn’t know how to say this without betraying parts of David he held close. “I worry that he would feel hurt by me having that relationship with her, especially if I didn’t tell him first.”

They were quiet for a while and Stevie appreciated that Ronnie didn’t rush in with reassurances. When she did speak, Stevie knew that it was considered. “Do you really think he would begrudge you any happiness?”

“But what if I fuck it up?” Stevie didn’t mean to say it, didn’t want to say it, but here was the biggest issue. Because the reason it was so scary and stressful to like this particular person _this much_ was that the stakes were so high. If this went wrong she couldn’t expect Mr Rose to comfort her and take her home, and Mrs Rose to give her a chance to find a new passion, and David to let her pretend that nothing had happened while looking after her as hard as he could. 

Ronnie’s expression was kind but firm. “And here I thought you’d figured out by now that just because something might not work? Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it.”

Stevie took a deep breath as she tried to hold back the tears that had suddenly made their presence known at the corners of her eyes.

“You can’t know what’ll happen unless you try. Maybe it’ll burn out quickly, but that doesn’t mean it won’t be worth it to see.”

Stevie couldn’t help but shake her head, not because she disagreed, but because she wasn’t sure she could think about that. She wasn’t sure what was scarier: the idea that she and Alexis would try something and burn out quickly, or the idea that they wouldn’t, because what would they do then—stay together for years? That didn’t happen for Stevie. The idea of a long relationship before the inevitable break up was most terrifying of all.

Ronnie sighed. “Listen, I was single for a while before Karen came along, and if someone had told me back then, that we’d be together ten years and then end it, I’d probably never have tried. But our romantic relationship wasn’t a failure just because it ended. Our lives changed, our relationship changed, but that doesn’t take away from what we had.”

Stevie knew how much it meant for Ronnie to open up like this. It was a perspective she’d never heard before. Every relationship that she’d seen end when she was growing up had been considered a disaster, a failure, a cause for screaming and crying. It was part of why Stevie closed herself off so hard when it happened to her; she never wanted to be like that. Maybe, she could practice thinking about things a little differently.

“And you’re really this okay about it ending?” she couldn’t help but ask.

Ronnie twisted her mouth while she prepared her answer. “I am now. I mean, I was then, but it was hard, you know? Just because the end is hard doesn’t mean the journey wasn’t worth it.” A sudden grin broke out on her face. “Plus, I have a date coming up with a hot florist.”

Stevie gasped and grinned. “Well, I can drink to that!” With someone else she might have asked for more details, but she knew if Ronnie wanted to tell her then she would.

Ronnie poured them another glass of wine and they sat quietly for a while, before Ronnie remembered a story from a rehearsal Stevie hadn’t been at, in which Bob had accidentally let go of the pineapple during their dance and thrown it straight at Jocelyn. It felt good to laugh and they finished off the bottle as they shared more rehearsal stories.

When Ronnie walked Stevie to the door there was a moment when Stevie thought they were going to hug. They didn’t and that was okay, but she thought she might’ve liked it if they had.

“You know I’m here for you whenever you need me, right?” Ronnie was, as ever, direct and to the point. It made part of Stevie want to hide, but much more than that it was a comfort.

“I know.”

“Good.” She smiled and added, “Especially if you bring more of David’s fancy wine over.”

Stevie grinned. “That one was actually Patrick’s choice, I’ll let him know you appreciated it.”

“You will do no such thing!”

Stevie just cackled and waved as she walked to her car.

***

**iMessage:** Alexis  
  
**Stevie:** Do you think David will be okay with it?  
  
**Alexis:** Why wouldn’t he be?  
  
**Stevie:** I mean… me and him did used to hook up  
  
**Alexis:** Ew Stevie 🙅  
  
**Stevie:** It’s not like that’s new information for you  
  
**Alexis:** Sorry, thinking about that is just kind of… wrong.  
  
**Alexis:** You don’t still like him that way do you???  
  
**Stevie:** omg NO   
  
**Stevie:** Honestly thinking about it feels wrong to me too these days  
  
**Alexis:** Good👩⚖️  
  
**Stevie:** Wait are you jealous of past David right now?  
  
**Alexis:** It’s not my fault I’m jealous! He’s gotten to see you naked and I haven’t  
  
**Stevie:** Wow  
  
**Alexis:** 🙊🙊🙊  
  
**Alexis:** Was that too far?  
  
**Stevie:** A little bit but also not at all, I’m just surprised  
  
**Alexis:** I’ve been trying to court you, but sometimes I worry I haven’t been clear enough  
  
**Stevie:** You’ve been trying to court me? Are you a Victorian gentleman?  
  
**Alexis:** I wanted to be romantic  
  
**Stevie:** Fuck  
  
**Stevie:** I mean it is romantic!  
  
**Stevie:** I’m sorry I don’t know how to respond to someone… courting me  
  
**Stevie:** I like it  
  
**Alexis:** I’m glad 🥰  
  
**Stevie:** I’m trying to stop hiding all my relationships from David though  
  
**Stevie:** Considering I told Patrick off for not trusting David with stuff like not having come out to his parents  
  
**Alexis:** You did? That’s very cute  
  
**Stevie:** Excuse me I am not cute  
  
**Alexis:** UM I’m pretty sure you are actually the cutest   
  
**Alexis:** Just fyi 💁  
  
**Stevie:** I can’t believe I’m going to let you get away with saying that  
  
**Alexis:** 💖  
  
**Alexis:** Anyway if we’re going to do this I’d want to tell David  
  
**Stevie:** Oh  
  
**Alexis:** I mean, he’s my best friend, too?  
  
**Stevie:** Of course he is, I know that  
  
**Stevie:** I keep saying the wrong thing  
  
**Alexis:** Maybe we should try talking about this in person  
  
**Stevie:** That would go even worse  
  
**Stevie:** I want to soon though  
  


***

When David had started to _really_ complain about how much time he was spending with his mother, as Stevie and Patrick had their extra rehearsals with Derek, Stevie had suggested pulling Alexis into the secret, but David had insisted no way would she be able to keep it. That meant that when David, Moira, and Alexis had walked in on their rehearsal, there had been an extra layer of damage control for Stevie to handle. She felt kind of bad for throwing David under the bus, but, well, it was his fault.

**iMessage:** Alexis  
  
**Alexis:** David knew about your extra rehearsals, didn’t he?  
  
**Stevie:** Why do you say that?  
  
**Alexis:** Come on, Stevie, my brother is NOT an actor  
  
**Stevie:** Maybe  
  
**Alexis:** Why didn’t you tell me?  
  
**Stevie:** David insisted we couldn’t tell you about the extra rehearsals because he thought you’d tell your mom, I’m sorry  
  
**Alexis:** Hmph. Well if you had told me maybe I’d have been able to stop her from going in! 🤦♀️  
  
**Stevie:** I texted him the exact same thing like ten minutes ago  
  
**Alexis:** Good  
  
**Alexis:** I was kind of wondering why he was hanging out with mom so much tbh  
  
**Stevie:** Trust me I have heard a lot about his sacrifice  
  
**Alexis:** Well it’s his own fault, he should know I am way better at subterfuge than he is!  
  
**Stevie:** If we ever have to have secret rehearsals again I promise I’ll tell you  
  
**Alexis:** You’d better  
  
**Alexis:** Your dancing was amazing!  
  
**Stevie:** You don’t have to say that  
  
**Alexis:** I’m not just saying it, you looked really good  
  
**Stevie:** I was a mess  
  
**Alexis:** No, Stevie. You looked REALLY good 🔥🔥🔥  
  
**Stevie:** Oh  
  
**Alexis:** Just thought you should know  
  
**Stevie:** Thank you  
  
**Alexis:** 💖  
  


***

It felt like time sped up as opening night approached—the final dress rehearsal came so much faster than Stevie was ready for, and yet it felt like she’d been working on this show for a lifetime. Stevie and Alexis had texted some, but hadn’t had any time together where they weren’t surrounded by other people, and it was only by throwing herself into rehearsing and work that Stevie hadn’t gone mad with her growing desire to _touch_ Alexis.

At the final rehearsal Stevie took a seat next to Alexis, just like the first one, but this was very different. Sure, they still hadn’t talked about things, but Stevie was hoping Alexis understood how much she wanted to, once the show was done. It felt like the two of them were sitting in a bubble. Stevie couldn’t even speak; once they made eye contact it was so intense she lost all ability.

The tension between them was cut when Patrick took the seat next to Stevie and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. “How you feeling, Fräulein Bowles?”

Stevie rolled her eyes at him. “Glad we don’t have an audience?” she replied. They’d only managed one full run through at this point, but after warm up they’d be getting into full hair and make up to run through everything, not to mention it being their first time actually doing the show in the theatre. Unfortunately Knee, a Tragically Hip tribute band, had been using it up to this point and had refused them any stage time to get adjusted to it.

Patrick just grinned. “Right there with you!”

Alexis shook her head, her hands shifting nervously. “I just feel, like, so dumb doing this without anyone watching? It’s way easier with actual people around.”

That may have been one of the main differences between Stevie and Alexis, but she got it now, in a way she hadn’t really before. Alexis was a very different person from her, but somehow she’d become someone that Stevie fundamentally understood.

“I love a crowd, but I’m glad they won’t be here the first time I try to do all this stuff on an actual stage,” Patrick said.

“I just hate people,” Stevie said, to make them both laugh. Weirdly, it wasn’t nearly as true a statement as it would have been in the past. Still somewhat true, of course, but less so.

A few of the other Kit Kat girls came over to chat, and while they hadn’t become super close, Stevie was struck by a feeling of fondness for them. They weren’t nearly so intimidating now that she had spent hours trying to master Mrs Rose’s choreography with them.

“You ready to make out with Ray’s boyfriend?” Kimberley teased.

Stevie and Adam had been pulling the kisses and Moira had insisted that she see _passion_ from them at the dress, to prepare them for stage kissing under pressure.

“Ray’s playing a scary Nazi, okay? I don’t want him thinking I’m trying to take his man,” Stevie joked.

“Well, I’m certain he’ll be so blown away by your acting chops, he won’t even think to worry,” Alexis said, before giving a boop to Stevie’s nose. It shouldn’t have been enough to make Stevie blush, but it absolutely was.

Luckily, at that moment Moira and Jocelyn came to greet them. As Jocelyn gave a speech about how proud of everyone she was, Stevie couldn’t help but feel a mix of anxiety and exhilaration to be part of this. She wasn’t used to feeling like she belonged in a group but here she came closer to it than she ever had before.

The dress rehearsal went better than expected. Of course, there were mishaps, like Bob getting his and Ronnie’s lines mixed up, but that was honestly less mess than Stevie would have expected. When they were finished, each in their positions as the last notes of the finale rang out, a jolt of sheer adrenaline ran through Stevie. The next time she did this, it would be for real.

***

The day before Cabaret opened was supposed to be a simple one. Stevie and Alexis were sitting on the spare bed in Mr and Mrs Rose’s room, folding programs and shifting to sit closer over time, while Moira finalised the theatre’s seating plan, when it went downhill. Mr Rose came in from loading furniture onto Roland’s truck and it became clear pretty quickly there was something wrong with him. Stevie was glad to have Alexis backing her up in insisting they should go to the hospital and eventually Johnny agreed.

The drive to the hospital, with Mr Rose in the passenger seat, while Alexis, Mrs Rose, and Roland were squeezed into the back, should have been a total farce. Instead, it was strangely quiet, with just the occasional panicked outburst from Moira, or unhelpful comment from Roland.

If asked a few months ago Stevie might have said, without thinking, that Alexis would break down in this situation, but she wasn’t surprised now that it was the opposite. Alexis was so pulled together and in charge it was almost painful to watch, alternating looking after her mother and checking in with various hospital staff to make certain at every moment that her father was getting the best treatment possible. She even managed to get Roland to stop going to the vending machine after his third trip.

Stevie, meanwhile, felt absolutely useless. There was a pit of dread within her that was nearly overwhelming. She couldn’t cope with losing Mr Rose, she just couldn’t. Just as she was starting to really spiral inside her head, Alexis sat down next to her and put an arm around her. The band of anxiety within Stevie eased somewhat at that, enough that she felt like she could really breathe again. It felt stupid for Alexis to be the one comforting her, it wasn’t _Stevie’s_ Dad who had been back there for worryingly long. Stevie took a deep breath, didn’t think about how it might look to Roland, and moved her arm so she was holding Alexis, too. 

It was a huge relief when they learned it had just been severe heartburn. Stevie could almost see the moment Alexis let go of crisis mode, like the tape that had been holding her together had been cut. After they’d both hugged Mr Rose, Stevie moved to stand beside Alexis with an arm around her waist while he finished talking to the doctor. Alexis looked at her in surprise, but then sagged into it. They didn’t say anything, but Stevie felt a clarity she didn’t have before.

The drive back was nothing like the one there, with Johnny telling the story of his time with the doctors, while Roland and Moira gave commentary. Alexis was unusually quiet, but occasionally their eyes met in the rear-view mirror and Stevie could feel that something had shifted between them.

***

There were still programs to fold, but Stevie and Alexis didn’t shy from pressing close to each other as they did them. Mrs Rose didn’t question it, but Stevie almost felt like she wouldn’t mind if she had. She wasn’t scared of these feelings anymore.

Once they were done, Mrs Rose said, “If I may have a moment to confabulate with my ingenue?”

Alexis rolled her eyes, but separated herself from Stevie and went through the door to her bedroom.

“What’s up, Mrs Rose?” It was strange for Stevie to realise that there wasn’t a part of herself that expected Moira to tell her the whole thing was a terrible plan and they were pulling Stevie from the play after all. 

Mrs Rose sat next to Stevie on the bed and took her hands. “I wanted to know how you are doing, my dear.”

Stevie smiled as best she could, but it was strangely easy to be vulnerable and answer honestly. “I’m nervous. I think I can do it, though.”

“Oh Stevie, I _know_ you can.” Mrs Rose’s certainty was almost overwhelming. “Now, what I want you to do tomorrow is block _everyone_ out. Let it just be you and Sally.”

Stevie nodded. “I can do that.”

Moira smiled and released Stevie’s hands to hold her shoulders. “There is no doubt within me that you can.”

Stevie considered going outside directly, but she knew that wasn’t what she really wanted to do. She wasn’t going to take the easy out from confronting her feelings. Mrs Rose raised a brow when Stevie left through the connecting door, but didn’t say anything.

Alexis’ smile lit up the whole room when she saw Stevie and set her heart pounding. 

“Do you want to come to my place?” Stevie asked. She didn’t want the chance of being overheard or interrupted.

Alexis wrapped a curl around her finger and looked at Stevie through her lashes. “That sounds good,” she replied, her voice a bit husky, before picking up a bag. 

It was a ridiculous move, but even as Stevie laughed, she also felt a jolt of arousal. She reached out a hand and Alexis took it, both of them holding on tight the whole way to Stevie’s car.

The tension in the car was so thick you could cut it. Stevie tried to distract herself by obsessing over how much trash she had lying around. “Sorry this is such a mess,” she said, and could practically hear Alexis’ eye-roll.

“I kind of have other things on my mind,” Alexis replied, and reached her hand out to touch Stevie’s knee.

Stevie may have made a noise at that, but she couldn’t be sure over the sound of blood rushing to her head. She was very grateful to work so close to her apartment, as she did her best to get there without crashing the car. Alexis’ hand never left her leg, though it did move slowly up her thigh in a way that had no right to feel so good through jeans.

Alexis looked totally put together when Stevie finally parked and turned to her, but there was something in her eyes that made Stevie’s knees go weak. As they walked up the stairs, Alexis never stopped touching her. Just light brushes of her fingers against Stevie’s back or arm, but it lit her up inside. Stevie couldn’t even respond because all her brain power was going on getting one foot in front of the other and not slamming Alexis against a wall where her creepy neighbour might see them.

As soon as they were through the door, Stevie pulled Alexis down to _finally_ kiss her properly. This was nothing like the chaste kiss on Patrick’s birthday, it was passionate in a way Stevie had rarely experienced in her life, maybe never had when completely sober. There was the sound of a bag being dropped and then Alexis’ hands held her close, which was good, as Stevie worried that otherwise she might not be able to hold herself up.

Eventually, they pulled apart and just stared at each other. 

“So, did you want to talk?” Alexis said, smirking. 

Stevie couldn’t help but lean back in and nip at Alexis’ lip before she replied. “I think we can do that part later.”

Finally giving up on holding back felt incredible; Stevie moaned into Alexis’ mouth as their tongues stroked together. Alexis always looked so fragile, but her body felt strong, lined with muscle under Stevie’s hands. Her dress was short enough that it didn’t take much for Stevie to slip a hand under it and feel the strength in her thighs. 

Her skin was so smooth, the smoothest Stevie had ever felt, but feeling it under her fingers, it also had bumps and ridges, like anyone else. Somehow that made it feel that much more real, sending arousal shooting straight through Stevie, enough that she had to break away from Alexis’ mouth to take a breath. Alexis wasn’t some fantasy of perfection, she was a real woman who was choosing Stevie.

“I love your skin,” Stevie panted and then winced. “Fuck, that makes me sound like a serial killer.”

Alexis giggled, eyes sparkling. “I like that you like my skin, Stevie. I’d like the chance to get at yours as well.” She tugged meaningfully on Stevie’s flannel.

Stevie did her best to ignore the voices saying that Alexis would judge her for somehow falling short, and shrugged the flannel off her shoulders. Before she could overthink it, she followed up by pulling off her baggy t-shirt and letting that drop to the floor as well. She was wearing a t-shirt bra that had turned slightly grey from over-washing, but Alexis looked at her like she was something amazing.

“You are _so_ gorgeous, Stevie,” Alexis said. It didn’t sound like something light and frivolous, or like it was just the thing you say. It was said as something precious and real and _no one_ had ever talked about Stevie quite that way before.

Stevie couldn’t respond in words, so she just moved back to kiss Alexis again, hoping to get across with her mouth and her hands what she couldn’t say in words.

Alexis’ fingers were so gentle on her skin and yet somehow that magnified each feeling a thousand times. Every point of contact felt like it was connected directly to her nerves, running right to her core and making her ache. Stevie got her hands back under Alexis’ dress, but this time she moved them higher, stroking over her hips and up to her waist, taking the dress with her.

Alexis made a pleased noise into Stevie’s mouth and stepped back to pull off her dress in one motion. Standing there in jewellery, high heels, and matching high-end underwear she looked like something out of a commercial, but then she smiled shyly at Stevie and, right, she was still _Alexis_ , however intimidatingly beautiful she was.

Stevie usually tried to wear matching underwear when she was planning to hook up with someone, but today she hadn’t expected more than to fold programs for Cabaret and work, let alone everything else that had happened. Alexis was in a bright pink set, with lace on both the bra and the panties, which were the barely-there sort that Stevie could never stand because of how they rode up her ass. Seeing them on Alexis, she suddenly understood the appeal.

“Wow,” was all she could say.

Alexis grabbed Stevie and kissed her forcefully, with an urgency that sent electricity running through her whole body. Stevie pulled Alexis in closer so they could be skin-against-skin and she could feel Alexis moan in response. 

Alexis’ hand went to the clasp of Stevie’s bra, but she paused, obviously waiting for Stevie’s signal. Stevie moved from Alexis' mouth to kiss over to her ear and said, “Yes.” Alexis undid the clasp in an impressively smooth move Stevie wasn’t sure she could manage on her own bra, let alone someone else’s.

Stevie pulled back enough to get her bra off and Alexis gasped; had anyone ever _gasped_ when they saw Stevie before?

“You’re so hot, Stevie,” Alexis said and it didn’t sound at all like a line; she was looking at Stevie like she wanted to devour her whole.

“We should get on the bed,” was all Stevie could say in reply because she was so turned on and they were standing half-dressed by her door.

Alexis grinned and started walking over—Stevie couldn’t even think to follow because she was so distracted watching. Alexis moved with a confidence that filled the room, even when in her underwear. Stevie mostly preferred to think about the fact she was forced to live in a physical body as little as possible.

“Come over here, babe,” Alexis said, sitting on the bed and bending to take off her shoes.

Stevie forced herself to move. She’d been naked with plenty of men, but walking about topless with Alexis had her all turned around. Alexis looked over and gave a significant look to Stevie’s jeans, and then back to her eyes. 

Right. She really, really wanted to do this, so taking her jeans off was the next step. Of course, she’d kind of forgotten she was still wearing shoes, so they got a bit stuck and Stevie ended up semi-collapsing to sit on the bed to try and sort it out. Alexis looked amused, but not in a cruel way, and then swooped to kneel between Stevie’s thighs in front of her and sort it out.

It should have been—it _was_ —embarrassing, needing Alexis to help her in this way, but much more than that it was incredibly sexy. Alexis removed Stevie’s shoes and socks and then pulled her jeans off, before placing her hands on Stevie’s bare knees and meeting her eyes. God, someone touching her fucking _knees_ shouldn’t be nearly this much of a turn on, but all of Stevie’s body felt sensitised and alive.

Stevie bent her head to kiss Alexis and so much of her self-consciousness melted away into their mouths. Stevie got her hand into Alexis’ hair, not pulling, but so she could cradle her head, and it made Alexis whimper into her mouth in the most delicious way. Alexis’ hands started sliding up Stevie’s thighs and, _fuck_ , it was so good, she felt so good and alive and _here_.

Stevie pulled back and just _looked_ at Alexis for a moment: the way her lips were still parted, her eyes hazy and dark when she opened them. “You’re so fucking beautiful,” she told her and Alexis lit up. It was so lovely to see that genuine smile on her face that Stevie had to lean down again, just to nip at her lower lip a little, even though she had plans.

“I’m pretty sure we were going to get _on_ the bed,” Stevie said, using her hold on Alexis to tug her up slightly.

Alexis smirked, and it wasn’t one of her usual expressions, but it suited her. “What if I like it down here?” she said, using her hold on Stevie’s thighs to spread them slightly. 

Stevie was about to try and say something in return when Alexis bent her head, Stevie’s hand following it, and kissed Stevie so gently over her boring black cotton underwear. Stevie gasped and felt the way her cunt clenched in response so sharply. Despite the colour not matching her bra, Stevie was suddenly glad she’d gone for black that day, so maybe Alexis wouldn’t see how ridiculously wet she was already.

Alexis moved back, Stevie’s hand on her head still helplessly following her however she moved. She had a self-satisfied little smile on her face, like the one she wore when she watched those rival reporters make out during Single’s Week, and Stevie’s heart pounded. God, how did she like this woman _so_ much?

“But if you want to get on the bed, I guess you can,” Alexis said, obviously trying to look innocent and like she hadn’t just turned Stevie’s brain inside out with a simple action.

Stevie groaned and had to kiss her again, she just had to. There was a part of her brain that shouted that she needed to get to the bed—get to the sex—right now, but she shut that down. No way was getting to taste Alexis’ mouth in any way something to be considered anything other than an end in itself. Alexis seemed to feel that, too, because she kissed Stevie like she had all the time in the world; licked into her mouth slowly while making the most delicious noises.

When Stevie did pull back again, it was more because she was too old to be crouched over in this position for too long, especially after hours spent on uncomfortable hospital waiting room chairs. Alexis refused to go far, though, leaning up so she could get her mouth on Stevie’s nipple, gently sucking it before licking wide across her breast.

Stevie arched her back and held on to Alexis, groaning low in her chest. “Oh, fuck, that feels so good.” She loved having her nipples played with, as long as her partner didn’t go too hard, and this was gloriously on the right ride of that line.

Alexis pulled off Stevie’s skin with a grin. “Your breasts are fucking incredible,” she said, fiercely.

That was _it_ , Stevie needed to get Alexis horizontal. She slid her hand slowly out of Alexis’ hair and moved her other from where it was clutching Alexis’ arm and scooted back on the bed. She didn’t bother trying to look graceful or sexy, just needed to move before they got distracted again. “Get up here,” she said, voice rough with arousal.

Alexis rose to her feet in one effortless motion that left Stevie in awe, and then climbed right on top of Stevie, straddling her. She got her hand into Stevie’s hair and tugged, making Stevie groan as Alexis’ mouth descended on her own. Stevie was so turned on, she couldn’t help squeezing her legs together and thrusting up in an attempt to get some friction. 

Alexis left a trail of biting kisses as she moved around to nibble at Stevie’s ear, before whispering. “Tell me what you want.”

Stevie whined and reached behind Alexis with both hands to remove her bra. “I want to see you.”

Alexis made a satisfied noise almost like a purr and lifted one hand to get her bra strap off, resting her weight on the hand behind Stevie’s head, like she didn’t want to go too far away. Stevie couldn’t help but watch as Alexis’ breasts were revealed, pale smooth skin with gorgeous hard nipples that Stevie wanted to get her mouth on. She didn’t even realise Alexis was swapping arms until—

“Ouch, fuck,” Stevie said, wincing in pain as Alexis tried to remove her hand. “I think one of your rings is caught in my hair.”

Alexis’ eyes went wide and horrified. “Oh my god, Stevie! I’m so sorry!” Her whole sexy, confident vibe was stripped away and she looked on the verge of panic.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Stevie said, lifting her head and reaching a hand up to try and help Alexis detangle from her.

“It’s not okay, I just didn’t even think. I knew I needed to take them off, but I was so distracted.”

Stevie smirked, while she gently helped them get detangled by feel. “What exactly did you find so distracting?”

Alexis pouted, but Stevie could see relief in the way her eyes lit back up. “Hmm, not sure I can even remember any more.”

Stevie grinned. “Well, isn’t that a pity.” 

Alexis’ hand was finally free and she sat up, resting her weight right on Stevie’s crotch, shaking off the bra that was still hanging from her wrist. Stevie just watched her as she carefully removed her rings and her bracelet and leaned over to place them on the bedside table. Stevie was mesmerised by the way she moved; usually Alexis’ hands were so fast they were almost a blur, but she wasn’t rushing this.

Alexis sat back on her heels and ground her hips down with a smirk, making Stevie gasp. It wasn’t exactly great friction at this angle, but the experience of Alexis, wearing nothing but her ‘A’ necklace and her lacy panties, grinding right down on Stevie, was surely one she’d be reliving every time she got herself off for the next year.

“What do you want, Stevie?” Alexis asked, her hips moving in maddening little circles.

Stevie knew exactly what she’d say if she was in this situation with a man, she wasn’t shy about getting what she wanted in those situations. This felt different, more delicate in terms of the relationship between them mattering so much, but also because Stevie didn’t want to come across as stupid by saying something wrong. She dug into the part of herself she’d been trying to access more often recently and answered honestly. 

“I want you to get me off.”

Alexis’ face burst into a grin, and she bounced a little and flapped her hands, and Stevie was to unused to seeing someone displaying such un-performative joy in bed that she let herself grin back. Alexis’ little bounce also felt good, so Stevie got her hands around Alexis’ hips and thrust up a little, just to feel her.

Alexis gasped and dove back to Stevie’s mouth, kissing her quickly before moving down her body. Alexis laid a path of kisses leading down to her breast, where she paused and used her thumbs to rub Stevie’s nipples, watching closely. It felt good, but Stevie was too turned by now to deal with it without needing to reach down to get some pressure on her clit. 

“That’s so fucking hot, Stevie,” Alexis said, pinching one of Stevie’s nipples before licking over the other.

Stevie’s arm was pressing against Alexis’ body over hers and she didn’t have space to do more than grind her palm down, but it was enough to tide her over while Alexis worked her breasts exquisitely. Just when Stevie was feeling pissed she still had her underwear on—and like she really needed some space to spread her legs—Alexis pulled away, with a final kiss to her nipple.

“I’m going to eat you out, okay?” she said, meeting Stevie’s eyes.

“I guess I wouldn’t mind that,” Stevie replied with a grin, because she wasn’t capable of remaining serious for long.

Alexis giggled and bit her lip before swooping up for a brief kiss to Stevie’s mouth. She didn’t linger, instead swinging her leg so she was sitting next to Stevie, instead of straddling her. Stevie immediately started taking her underwear off, tossing it off the side of the bed. Alexis also removed her own, but Stevie couldn’t really see anything because she immediately moved Stevie’s legs to get between them. Stevie wouldn’t have expected someone just moving her where they wanted to be such a turn on, but when it was Alexis it really was.

Alexis wasted no time spreading Stevie’s legs further and licking from her hole to her clit. Stevie groaned and let go of the part of her that was full of the sorts of insecurities she hadn’t been worried about in years—what if she tasted weird? When did she last trim her pubes? Was it really normal for one side to be bigger than the other, or did those teen girl sex-ed books lie?—so that she could sink into the sensation. Alexis was really good with her mouth, following Stevie’s cues without Stevie even realising she’d made them.

Alexis got a finger in her and Stevie groaned. It was so good, but she wanted more. “Another—harder,” she managed to say, too aroused to form a complete sentence. Alexis started fucking Stevie hard with two fingers, still flicking her tongue over Stevie’s clit, shifting until she was hitting just the right angle so Stevie couldn’t help but punch out a groan at every thrust.

Her orgasm rose up so steadily that it almost shocked her when she actually got there, moving through her whole body like wildfire and leaving her dizzy and panting. She came back to herself to realise she had one hand clutching her breast and the other fisted in her own hair. Alexis was still between Stevie’s legs, but she was obviously touching herself, if the movement of her shoulder and the way she whined into Stevie’s thigh was any indication.

“Kiss me,” Stevie pleaded, pawing at Alexis’ shoulder to try and pull her up.

Alexis wiped her face on Stevie’s leg, which shouldn’t have been nearly as hot as it was, and surged up into a kiss. Stevie licked her own taste out of Alexis’ mouth, feeling like she was floating outside of her body, like this was too good to be real.

Alexis’ hand was still moving between her legs and Stevie reached her own to join it, trying to mimic the rhythm Alexis was setting.

“I want to make you come, Alexis,” Stevie said and she must have been loud before, because her voice had a rough edge to it.

Alexis whined, high pitched and needy. “I’m so close, just—fuck, don’t stop, please,” she said, urgently.

Stevie kept it up, her fingers tangled in Alexis’ against her clit, and was rewarded by getting to watch the most amazing expression cross her face as she came. Stevie got her through it and then slowed her fingers until they were still, keeping them tangled with Alexis’ as they moved them away.

Alexis grinned at Stevie in the most delightful way, and pulled Stevie’s hand up to give it a gentle kiss, before moving to lie next to her. They stayed like that for a while, curled up together and not talking much, just touching each other’s skin and enjoying the closeness.

***

It was only when Stevie came out of the bathroom and saw that Alexis was wearing pyjamas that she had a realisation. “Wait, you brought an overnight bag!”

Alexis blinked. “Wait, was I not supposed to? I can get dressed if you want—”

“No, no, this is perfect!” Stevie interrupted. “I just… when did you even have time to do that?”

Alexis smiled and shrugged. “I had to do something while my mom imparted her wisdom to you.”

Stevie couldn’t help but walk over and kiss her. “So you totally knew I was going to ask you over here tonight?”

Alexis shimmied a little. “Let’s say I hoped.”

Stevie grinned and didn’t try to hold it back, but those shimmies would always probably remind her of David—though now his also reminded her of Alexis—so she figured it was probably time to talk. “So are we going to, um...” Fuck, why exactly was she trying to talk about this? Just because her last relationship had failed spectacularly because they weren’t on the same page about it, why did that mean rocking the boat here?

“I want to date you,” Alexis said, with a level of confidence Stevie couldn’t imagine saying that statement with. “If you’re interested in that.”

Stevie looked at Alexis and realised that she probably wouldn’t have been able to tell she was nervous a couple of months ago, but she knew the tells now. It was in the set of her mouth, the furrow in her brow, the way her finger tapped against her leg.

“I would love to date you, Alexis Rose.” Stevie wasn’t sure she’d ever said something that made someone smile the way Alexis did at that and she just had to kiss her.

“We’ll tell David after the show tomorrow?” Alexis asked.

Stevie took a deep breath. “Yeah, yes. That sounds perfect.”

Alexis made a happy little hum and delicately kissed Stevie. They separated and got ready for bed, and it felt strangely natural to get under the covers and have Alexis next to her. It felt even better when Alexis curled around her side; Stevie would have guessed she was a cuddler and she didn’t mind being proved right.

They lay in silence for a while before Alexis’ quiet voice spoke. “I’m so glad you were there today, Stevie,” she whispered.

Stevie frowned and tilted her head to be able to see Alexis more directly. “Um, I was basically useless while you sorted everything out.”

Alexis met her eye, sharply. “No, you were the first one willing to suggest the hospital and you stayed calm driving us.” She reached her hand to grip Stevie’s shoulder. “You held me together.”

Stevie had a well of emotion rise up she wasn’t prepared for. It had just been such an intense day. “Well you held _all_ of us together,” she managed to say once she was sure she wouldn’t cry.

“Sounds like we make a good team, then,” Alexis replied, a small smile on her face that Stevie wanted to keep hold of as long as she could.

“I guess we do.”

***

Stevie dreamed it was the opening night of Cabaret and she was trying to get to the stage but she couldn’t find it. Suddenly, a knight in a suit of armour, with a sword on their hip, appeared, riding a horse. They took off their helmet and it was Alexis, her hair streaming behind her. 

She reached out to Stevie and suddenly Stevie was on the horse, and, even though Alexis was in armour, she could feel Alexis’ body in front of her, against hers. Suddenly, they were in the wings of the stage, and the horse was gone.

“You’re doing amazing, sweetie,” Alexis said and kissed Stevie so gently, and when she walked onto the stage, everything was right.

Stevie was woken with decadent, lazy kisses. Morning Alexis was deliciously rumpled, not quite awake, but wrapping herself around Stevie like she couldn’t get close enough. Stevie got a hand into Alexis’ hair and grabbed, trying not to pull, and suddenly Alexis’ leg was up over Stevie’s body and she was grinding into her hip. 

Stevie could feel the heat of Alexis’ cunt even through their pyjama pants and she groaned. “Fuck, Alexis, you’re so hot.”

Alexis moaned, a high, airy noise. “You turn me on so fucking much, Stevie.” 

Everything was just too much and Stevie moved to get Alexis out of her clothes, taking off her own in the process. Once they were naked, Alexis dove at her nipple, sucking it so gently Stevie ached with it.

“Harder,” she begged, spreading her legs for Alexis’ questing fingers. 

Alexis groaned and Stevie felt it in her whole body, moving through from her mouth. Just as Alexis finally went a bit harder, grazing Stevie’s nipple with her teeth, her fingers dipped between Stevie’s labia and spread her wetness up to her clit.

Stevie moaned—she hadn’t even realised how turned on she was, but now she couldn’t think of anything else. Alexis worked her up so quickly, between her hands and her mouth; Stevie wasn’t sure she’d ever gotten so close this fast.

“I want something in me,” she asked, desperate to have something to clench around as she came. Alexis moved back to kiss her on the mouth, while thrusting one finger inside her and stroking her clit and Stevie came hard. 

She lay panting for a while, eyes unfocused and relishing the looseness through her body. When she came back to herself enough to look at Alexis, she was smirking.

“Good morning, Stevie,” she said, eyes sparkling.

Stevie just laughed and rolled Alexis onto her back. “I’ll show _you_ a good morning,” she said, before moving down her body.

***

David turning up at the office to give Stevie flowers and eventually admit he was engaged was _not_ the plan for that morning. She was so incredibly happy for him and Patrick, but also she wanted to blurt out her news right back, and under all of that she was absolutely _terrified_ about the show. 

She just wished Patrick had given her a heads-up. She wanted to get David the towels; she needed him to know how much he meant to her and how happy she was for him. It was just so overwhelming: the prospect of what a relationship with Alexis could be, David and Patrick getting engaged, the show.

Stevie remembered what Mrs Rose had said the day before. She needed to block everyone and everything else out. Driving to Elmdale would give her something to do, she’d get the towels and be back in time for the show. She didn’t even think before she found Johnny and told him she had something to do.

She took a quick stop at her apartment to reply to Alexis’ latest message and drop off her phone. She just couldn’t risk someone trying to talk to her. 

**iMessage:** Alexis  
  
**Alexis:** You’re gonna be amazing tonight, babe  
  
**Stevie:** I have to go run an errand, I’ll be back before the show  
  
**Alexis:** 💖💖💖  
  


By the time she stopped at the gas station she was crying and she couldn’t even say why. 

Stevie spent the drive trying to work through the scene she kept obsessing over in her mind. The hope and pain that Sally went through when she sang Maybe This Time was so overwhelming it threatened to break her, and take Stevie down, too.

The woman who had done the monogrammed towels was frustratingly chatty and then there was traffic, so by the time Stevie managed to get home she barely had time to get changed for the show and arrive before curtains. Her phone had a truly alarming number of alerts, which she didn’t have time to go through, so she just opened her text chain with Alexis.

**iMessage:** Alexis  
  
**Stevie:** I’m getting ready at my apartment, I’ll be there soon!  
  
**Alexis:** You got this! 😘  
  
**Stevie:** 💖💖💖  
  


Stevie went as fast as she possibly could and made it with ten minutes to spare. Jocelyn was so enthusiastic to see her when she arrived in the dressing room it was almost scary. Most of the people filed out, leaving Stevie with Alexis, David, and Mrs Rose.

“Mrs. Rose, I'm sorry. I had an errand to run, and I got stuck in traffic on the way back.”

“Yeah, I’ve been calling all day.”

Stevie winced. “I know, you told me to block everyone out today, so I left my phone at home, which I realize was a really big mistake. I told Alexis I was on my way, though.”

Mrs Rose looked at Alexis. “Why did you not inform me of this?”

Alexis shrugged and looked surprisingly frustrated. “Well, _maybe_ if anyone had bothered to _ask me_ I might have said something!”

Without thinking about it, Stevie reached out to put her hand on Alexis arm to calm her down, which David definitely noticed. “Listen, it’s my fault, I—” She suddenly noticed Moira’s outfit. “—oh, were you planning on taking my place?”

Mrs Rose reassured her she was just dressing in theme and found an excuse to go into the other room, leaving Stevie alone with the Rose siblings.

“Why exactly did you text Alexis and not me?” David asked, with a shrewd look on his face.

Stevie bit her lip and looked at Alexis who smiled and reached for her hand. 

David clearly understood what this meant, because before either of the women could speak he exclaimed: “Oh my god, when did _this_ happen?” David’s hands flailed wildly as he spoke, but Stevie couldn’t read how he was taking it.

“Last night. I would have told you this morning, but we wanted to tell you together.” Stevie tightened her grip on Alexis’ hand, even though she had sweaty palms.

“I thought you’d be happy for us, David,” Alexis said, her chin jutting out stubbornly.

David blinked. “I will be, I just—I need a moment to process.”

Stevie could hear the sounds of the warm up and she knew she didn’t have much time to do what she needed to before she went on stage. “Can I get a minute with David?” she asked Alexis.

Alexis nodded and kissed her on the cheek, before leaving with a glare at David, daring him to say something.

“Okay, I’m sorry, I should never have told you about the engagement before the show, but also why didn’t you tell _me_ about Alexis?”

Stevie held out the bag she’d spent all day getting. “Here.” She explained about Patrick asking for her blessing and her getting David the towels for when she wasn’t around to bring them any more.

David complimented the monogramming, but added, “I thought you were upset.”

Stevie scoffed. “I was more upset I had to drive to Elmdale today.”

David smiled. “I also appreciate this burlesque-y get up.”

Stevie smirked. “Be careful, your sister might hear you saying that.”

David scrunched up his face. “Ew.” He looked at her seriously, before adding, “So, that’s a thing?”

Stevie tried not to let the huge grin that wanted to come out show, but she suspected it came through anyway. “It’s a thing.”

“Stevie!” Jocelyn’s voice came from the doorway. “I'd ask if you could hold us up more, but I'm not a big fan of rhetorical questions.”

Stevie joined the warm-up feeling some of the weight lifted off her shoulders.

***

The show was going well, but Stevie still found herself in the dressing room, before the scene where Sally told Cliff she was pregnant, wondering if she was really able to do this. Mrs Rose found her that way and was obviously trying to build her back up.

“Now I suppose David's announcement left you a little shaken,” she said gently, touching up Stevie’s make up.

Stevie tried to resist shaking her head, considering Moira was filling in her eyebrows. “That’s really not it, Mrs Rose. I just feel like… I keep watching everyone growing up around me and whenever I try to follow it goes wrong, what if that’s always going to happen?”

Mrs Rose’s response was overwhelming. She told Stevie how low she’d been before the Crows film and that _Stevie_ was someone she admired, thought was cool. It was… a lot to take in. She told Stevie to use all these feelings and that felt impossible and yet obvious.

“Now, why don't we take our Sally by the hand, and we go out there, and show those people everything she can be—if she were only more like you.”

Stevie was pretty sure no one had ever said something that indicated such a complete faith in her. She couldn’t help but giggle, just a little, because suddenly everything felt possible.

The scene went well and then it was time for Stevie to go to the microphone and sing the song that had made her take this role.

_Maybe this time, I'll be lucky  
Maybe this time, He'll stay  
Maybe this time  
For the first time  
Love won't hurry away  
He will hold me fast  
I'll be home at last_

Stevie tried to put everything she had been feeling this year into the song, let herself sing it the way that felt right. Her sadness and embarrassment about Emir, her worry about losing David to his relationship, her confusion and excitement over Alexis. All mixed with the idea she could finally be home, both exhilarating and scary.

_Not a loser anymore  
Like the last time  
And the time before_

She let her and Sally’s experiences mix. Every time Stevie’s mother had disappeared without notice, every time Sally had another man drop her as soon as she spoke up, it all went into the song, but not just that. Her and Sally, they never stopped or gave up, even after all of that. They joked about their pain and kept moving.

_Everybody loves a winner  
So nobody loves me  
'Lady Peaceful, ' 'Lady Happy, '  
That's what I long to be_

Stevie looked to the wings and saw Alexis watching her and Stevie couldn’t help but sing more forcefully, opening herself up to the music. Stevie had to believe it would be different this time—Sally could believe it, too.

_All the odds are in my favor  
Something's bound to begin,  
It's got to happen, happen sometime  
Maybe this time  
Maybe this time I'll win._

When the song finished it was almost like Stevie had to come back to herself, she’d gotten so lost in the song and the character. People were clapping for her and _standing up_. On one side of the wings Alexis looked awed and on the other side Mrs Rose looked proud and Stevie hadn’t fucked it up.

She rode that high through the rest of the show.

***

When they got off the stage, after their final curtain call, Patrick pulled Stevie into a huge hug and she didn’t stop him. He may be more used to the stage than her, generally but this had been a huge leap out of both of their comfort zones.

“We did it!” Patrick said, when they broke apart.

Stevie laughed, giddy with adrenaline. “Yup, only have to repeat that four more times!”

“It’s always easier after the first time,” he said and then made a face at the innuendo.

Stevie suddenly remembered the rest of her day and hit him on the shoulder. “So was _proposing to someone_ easier the second time? You didn’t think to give me some warning it would be yesterday?”

Patrick mock-glared, but his eyes were giddy. “Sorry, I didn’t think. And yes, it was—the whole plan went to shit and it was still the easiest thing I’ve ever done.”

“Okay, I need to hear the whole story later, but I think Jocelyn will burst a blood vessel if we don’t get out of here,” Stevie said, gesturing her head to where Jocelyn had appeared and was smiling intensely.

As soon as she got into the crowded dressing room Stevie was faced with an enormous bouquet of flowers and a card. The bouquet was so large she couldn’t even see that it was Alexis holding them until they were placed on her dressing table.

“You were incredible, babe!” Alexis said, looking so happy and proud that Stevie couldn’t help but think _fuck it_ and pull her in for a fierce kiss.

When she pulled back Stevie knew she was grinning ridiculously, but she felt like she could do anything in that moment, with the way Alexis was looking at her.

Twyla appeared to hug them both and said, “Oh wow, I can’t believe you two finally figured it out!”

Stevie laughed, uncertainly. “Were we that obvious?”

“Well, I wasn’t sure about you, but Alexis has been _so_ gone on you since Patrick’s party.”

Stevie thought that seemed somewhat reasonable, but Alexis said, “Twy!” like she was embarrassed.

“Come on Alexis, after that game of spin the bottle you were annoyed with me all night!”

Stevie suddenly realised that Twyla didn’t mean Patrick’s surprise birthday party, she meant his _housewarming_. “What?”

Alexis pouted, but she didn’t really look annoyed or upset, more caught out. “Me and Twy swapped places when we got drinks, so your bottle landed on her, but it should have landed on me.”

Stevie knew there was a manic grin on her face. “You really liked me that long?”

Alexis wobbled her head emphatically. “Um, have I not been being, like, incredibly obvious?”

Stevie laughed. “I would have no way of knowing that.” 

Jocelyn appeared again to chivvy them along. From there it was a rush and a mess of getting out of costume and over to the motel for the after party. Mrs Rose was already there and greeted her warmly. 

“There is my ingenue!” She said, arms outstretched. When Stevie got closer she added, “A little bird told me that my youngest bébé has managed to snag herself a star.”

Stevie blushed, though she shouldn’t be surprised word had spread after she’d kissed Alexis in front of the cast. She didn’t realise that Alexis was right behind her until she felt an arm come around her waist as Alexis stood next to her.

“Yes, I’m very lucky,” Alexis said, like she was challenging her mother to say something negative.

“You are both so lucky,” was all Moira said in reply and Stevie had to bite her lip to keep her tears of joy at bay. 

Somehow, Stevie ended up being paraded around the room with a Rose woman on each arm. Mrs Rose was so obviously proud of her that Stevie didn’t know what to do with herself. She was incredibly glad that Ronnie didn’t come up and say anything, just gave Stevie a look and raised a glass to her subtly. She would have absolutely cried at anything more than that, and that Ronnie knew it was part of why she was one of Stevie’s favourite people.

Johnny was obviously surprised by the developments between Stevie and Alexis, but also looked so happy for them that Stevie nearly cried anyway. Luckily, they were interrupted by David attempting to make his engagement announcement. It was a total mess on all levels and involved someone Stevie didn’t even know shouting out, “If this is about Stevie and Alexis we already know,” which was way less embarrassing than it should have been, thanks to the way it made Alexis absolutely _beam_.

Mrs Rose’s interruption was less good and Stevie helped the rest of the family clear everyone out before she, Alexis, David, and Patrick collapsed in David and Alexis’ room. Stevie had no doubt that Moira would come back from this, but it had been hard to see her so devastated.

“Well that was a day and a half,” Patrick said, a wry grin on his face as he sat curled up next to David on his bed.

Stevie was on the other bed with Alexis’ arm around her, which was probably what made her feel soft enough to say, “Sorry your engagement announcement got wrecked.”

David huffed. “I honestly should have expected it. Sorry some random decided to shout about your relationship in the middle of it.”

Patrick laughed. “Well, I think Stevie knew word would get around fast when she kissed Alexis in front of half the town backstage.” He raised a non-existent eyebrow and asked, “When exactly did development happen?”

Stevie said “Your birthday” and the same time Alexis said “last night” and then Alexis looked at her softly and said, “Aww, babe” and Stevie had to kiss her.

“Ew,” David said and then Stevie was pretty sure Patrick elbowed him, because he held up a hand as if to cancel it out. “I mean, you two being together isn’t ew—I am very happy for you both—but _that_ is going to take some getting used to.”

Stevie smiled and held up a middle finger. “That’s so sweet.” She looked at Alexis. “You wanna come to mine? Seems like we’re offending David’s delicate sensibilities here.”

Alexis’ eyes sparkled and she grinned. “Oh, well if we’re being too much for David, I guess we'll have to.”

David squawked. “Are we seriously going for an even more unbalanced social dynamic now?”

Alexis packed and bickered with David, who was putting his own bag together. Patrick came over and sat next to her with a smile. 

“You decided you wanted to bag yourself another Rose, huh?”

Stevie ducked her head in the hope he wouldn’t see her blush. “Well, I saw how much fun you were having with yours. And, you know, she's pretty great.” 

"Oh, for sure. Getting her for a sister is half the reason I proposed!"

Stevie laughed, the sound a little wet, but she knew Patrick wouldn't judge her. "I knew there had to be _some_ reason."

Patrick just laughed and bumped against her while they watched their partners bicker. Stevie’s family life growing up had involved plenty of sitting around while people argued, but it was nothing like this before, done with so much love and affection it was palpable. Stevie had a family who cared now. She’d taken huge risks and yet was even happier than she could have thought.

Alexis made a pointed jibe at David and then looked over and did one of her terrible winks at Stevie and it definitely shouldn’t have made her heart skip a beat like it did, but she couldn’t help it. Even with everything that had gone wrong, she’d never felt so happy. She was home.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks again to the artist who made the graphics, who will be revealed... at reveals!


End file.
